So I recently I started labeling myself as pansexual. I want to tell people, but i dont know who i should tell first. I want to tell my boyfriend and friends. I want to wait longer to tell my family. But should I tell my boyfriend first, my best friend, or a friend im not very close with but i know will be accepting. I feel like i should tell my best friend first, but i want to tell my not very close friend just to see how people will react
I think you should think of it on an individual level rather than merely a group-related level (i.e., think of it on a person-to-person basis rather than classifications like 'parents' 'work colleagues' and 'friends'). Of course, saying your friends' names is both a no-go and not very helpful on this forum, so keep that to yourself; just think about this for yourself. You should come out to the people that are not just at least vaguely educated on the topic but are willing to learn and are not obstinate or ignorant. Of course an activist friend is more likely to be accepting than a homophobic or transphobic one, but don't take their status as an activist as a green light to confide your sexuality in them. Ask yourself; has this person ever blabbed anyone's secrets to you? Have they ever made quick judgments about people? Treat it like you would any other secret. I think that's a good way to think about it. Test the waters first by telling people you absolutely trust. Only you can decide this - we can't know what your boyfriend is like. Then, once you've got a couple people you know are there for you about it, wade out a little more and tell some other people. A good way to know how they'll react, at least, to some extent, is how they react to discussion on LGBT issues. Don't just spring it on them, but see what they say about recent things like same-gender marriage. I am a very cautious person - maybe more cautious than you are and need to be. But a little trepidation goes a long way! A lot goes too far.
