Well now, first I'll tell you the story of how I came out: I grew up in the middle of nowhere, with a schitzophrenic abusive father, he used to beat the crap out of my brother and I...for about 9 years. Then finally he told his therpaist he was planning on killing my brother and I that weekend, so the therapist called my mom, told her, and we peaced. Then when I tried to come out when I was 13, and my mom said I was confused and the father thing had traumatized me to where I was at the point of not knowing myself. So in the summer of '07 I took 13 sleeping pills with a bottle of smirnoff vodka [the whole bottle] and tried killing myself because no one was happy with who I was, not even myself. I ended up being caught and taken to the hospital.That's where I learned to love myself and that's where I got an emotional self confidence boost. After all this I'm still troubled with panic attacks, self confidence issues, and always second guessing myself...like "I'm not good looking enough for so and so". But after all my experiences I've found that I don't have to be good for anyone but myself. though I rarely see my father [He has been in and out of Psychiatric hospitals since 02] we've maintaned a distant but semi-healthy relationship. Nothing will remove the scars of the past, but what you do is show those scars to loved ones and make sure they dont get hurt the same or get any bigger scars. But after all that I finally sat my family down and said, "I like guys too. In fact...I'm not confused...I'm 100% posotive". My mother has come to accept it, the friends I've told have accepted it. My little sister is the most accepting and she's only 12. But I started this thread so you guys can tell me about your stories or stuations and need someone to give you feedback or help. Though I'm not on 24/7 I won't hesitate to respond to anyone about anything. Happy Holidays :] PS:After all this and having panic attacks. I was diagnosed with sever anxiety and takes meds [Zyprexa, etc.] And my body is not at all healthy now internally. I have protein level defiency, kidney problems, headaches. All this was caused by my father. But do you know what? I forgave him...and it was easier then I thought.
That's awesome that people accept it =]. And you know, even though we don't know each other, I'm really glad you didn't succeed with the sleeping pills/smirnoff. I'm also glad that you're family got away from your father.
Wow, i thought all my learning disabilities and thyroid problems were bad xD Its good to see you made it through that, many people are not as lucky when they attempt suicide at horrible points in there life. Its amazing how you can forgive your dad for all that though, you must be a really big person. Congrats!
Thank you guys for the feedback :] I don't look at myself as a big person for forgiving my dad, I feel in time he will either get better or worse. And if it comes to worse, I'll be there for him-just like he wasn't when I was growing up. I love my dad because he made me who I am today, and I love me ^^ I'm glad I didnt succeed in killing myself either, I would have missed out on so much oppertunities. And it's crazy to think the year after that my baby brother was born and I never would have got to see his face :[
Wow, you have an awesome perspective on life! Congrats on getting past all that. & happy holidays to you, too.
