Met my soulmate, trying not to go crazy. Help?

Hi guys.

So there's this guy. I've known him for a long time (he knew who I was and I knew who he was though we'd never talked); he's kind of related to three of my best friends (including my other half), we know a lot of the same people, etc. but we had never talked. But last year, he had come into my work like three times, and I'd be working, look up, and catch him already looking at me. And my heart would skip and I'd look away, and try to get back to work even though I was overwhelmed. It happened three times in total, the same exact way, and what I felt looking at him was the strongest feeling I've ever had in my life--and not just in terms of "love at first sight". So I tried contacting him.

Now first let me make a note about me and him. We're both well known in the area, and we both grew up in the same small town. I'm middle of the road in terms of masc and femme, but I'm definitely a flower child. He's a text-book alpha. I thought he might be into guys because of some comments he made to my best friend in the past about me (and recently I found out everybody in his life has thought he's gay, etc. for a while. Like everybody. His dad, his stepmom, my best friends, our other friends, his stepmom's friends, the list goes on and on.)

And that's when it started, about four months ago. We totally clicked. He started asking me to hang out at least once a week, but it was always in a group. I ended up finally telling him I liked him, and he said it was cool, but it kind of made him a bit uncomfortable, and that I "knew he liked girls". Then one night at a bar he asked me and one of my girl friends when we knew we were gay. And then he stopped asking me to hang out. And then he started blowing me off when I asked him to hang out. But he started talking to me almost daily, sometimes calling or texting me multiple times a day, in the middle of the night, telling me really personal stuff etc. I felt like he was giving me really mixed signals. I'd get upset and he'd have some perfect excuse. He has social anxiety (which I can tell he kind of does), or he's just really busy, etc. And once I mentioned that I knew he was uncomfortable being around me, and he said that it had nothing to do with me liking him, but to please not bring it up again if I could help it. But he'd always act like we were totally fine after. We finally hung out again, and it was awesome, but now he's distant again.

And I get it. His mom is super religious, his dad was homophobic (but he really likes me; sometimes I hang out with his dad and stepmom), and being the type of guy he is, I imagine he's having a hard time admitting it even to himself. But it's just so confusing. We've both admitted we talk to each other more than anybody, and he's told me I know more about him than most people, he gives me looks sometimes that just don't seem "friendly", he teases me, borderline flirts with me, but half of the time he just puts up walls (and I feel like that just the norm for him in life). He won't touch me though. He'll only shake my hand. But what really is messing me is up is something he said when we last hung out. We had a long conversation, and then he said he smelled horrible, like sweat and grease and paint, because he had just gotten out of work, and I said I like how people smell, and he said he even dumped a girl because he didn't like the way she smelled. Then a bit later, we were going separate ways to our cars, and he stopped. And he turned to me and said in the most vulnerable voice I've ever heard, "So you think I smell good right now?" I'm sure I blushed, but I said that I wasn't sure, because I couldn't smell him (I think he thought I did and that's why I said I liked how people smell). And God, I wanted to walk right up to him and smell him and tell him that yes, he smelled great. But I just stood there. And he said okay, as nonchalantly as a breeze, and left. He ended up calling me right after we left, and he said he really enjoyed our conversation. Then the next day we talked and he made a comment that it was dumb of him to call me right after we hung out, and then started talking about how he thinks he's totally in love with this girl he had met. And I really hurt for him, because that was the first time he acknowledged to me that he was uncomfortable about the way he was with me. And now he's back to being distant.

I just feel like I'm going insane. My intuition is telling me that he likes me, but some of the stuff he's doing just throws me off (and I know that guys will do that to convince themselves and others that they're not into guys). I can tell he's hurting, and it's eating away at me to not say something to him. But seriously, he's perfect. And I don't mean literally, I mean he's perfect for me. I'm completely attracted to him, we get along perfectly, we complement each other perfectly, and he's everything I've ever wanted. He's the guy I've been waiting for since I realized I was gay. But I'm so afraid that he will totally shut me down and become even more distant or stop being friends with me altogether (I don't believe that, but it's still a fear I have). Part of me wants to just let go of my feelings and be his friend, but deep down I just want to talk to him about it. And that could either work out really well or be a disaster. The dude is like a fortress, and I don't know if if I should try knocking down walls or just wait outside (but for how long?). Would he hate me for that or maybe the opposite? So I guess I'm just asking for perspective, looking for help.