1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How to come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by parzivalAT, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. parzivalAT

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I've only come out to one person, one of my best friends, and have no idea how to tell anyone else. Through the last year, before I'd told anybody, people had joked about my sexuality because they thought I was straight, and that I wouldn't hurt from it. Of course, I don't blame them, but it's made me really hard.
    It took me a LONG time to come out to this one person as bisexual, and I don't know how to move forth from here.
     
  2. The Purple One3

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2015
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Just tell your friends your feelings. I think they'll understand. If they're your true friends, they will accept you and love you for you. (*hug*)
     
  3. AJ56

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2015
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    South Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I would start off by coming out to those who you think will be accepting and supportive. If you're not sure how they would react, try to get an idea of what their views are on LGBT issues. I remember how nervous I was coming out to my friends, but I was really surprised how supportive they were about it. It's so relieving and I no longer have to hide my true self from them.

    I hope your coming out journey goes as smoothly as mine has. Good luck! (*hug*)
     
  4. ak7409

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2015
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North East England
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I used memes on facebook on a group chat for my first few, I tend to just go extra gay and get them to ask and then tell them straight (pun intended)
     
  5. eth

    eth
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    In my personal experience it is always best to come out to someone you trust and who is understanding about the subject first, the reason for this is so that you can have support before you go ahead and tell everyone else. For example i came out to my teacher over text message (Bit weird i know). I knew he would be understanding as i have heard him talk about the subject before. Ever since that moment i have had full support in telling people and if i ever need help he is on standby. So don't be afraid if you trust someone and think that they are safe to tell then Go Ahead and don't shy away from it.:lol:
     
  6. Monraffe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2014
    Messages:
    418
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Travel. To a town other than your own. Go to a gay bar. They won't know ANYTHING about you there and that's what you want! Be 100% gay. For one night. Then go home and see how you feel.
     
  7. coming out plan of attack...
    1. develop a loyal tribe that will have your back if anyone gives you sh*t (friends, bros, cousins, teachers, etc.).

    2. wait, get comfortable in your gay/bi skin for a while and hang with your tribe so you can feel secure in the fact that nothing has changed, you're still the same bro.

    3. time to go gay: start expanding the tribe...start going to gay stuff and events. see how you feel. find other gay friends like you. join some gay groups.

    4. get secure and comfortable with the gays and bis.

    5. go big or go home: time to tell the ones you think may do you in...mom, dad, brothers or sisters. often its not a big deal and they still are on your team and dont care. however, if they hate you or drop you over it, then you have your support system already formed and you feel comfortable with yourself.

    only do this if it is safe for you to come out in your country or living situation.
     
  8. Celatus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2014
    Messages:
    542
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    The above comment is a perfect way to go about this ^
    But if you just feel like screw it I'm tired of hiding then just go for it and tell someone. I found it's a lot easier to tell people I've recently met than risk damaging friendships I've had for a long time.
     
    #8 Celatus, Jul 17, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2015
  9. ^^ this is very true. i came out to a guy i recently met and he was cool about it. same with another guy. they did not have any history with me so they did not care. i liked both of them and they were straight but that's another story. anyway, i think its easier to come out to new people because if you they blow you off, who cares. if they dont, then you have someone that you can start fresh with that knows you for who you truly are and not the person that is your "representative in hiding".
     
  10. Bossanova

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2015
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I am in a similar situation right now, and I sympathize with your confuzzledness parzivalAT.

    I have decided to come out to my friends in small groups of 2-3 at a time. If you think that telling a large group at once would be too difficult, it might be the best option to tell them individually or in small groups.

    If you plan on coming out to family, I would do it after friends. I have gotten lots of advice telling me to tell my parents first, but I felt that telling my friends first would: 1.) Give me a better feel for coming out so as to do it more efficiently with my family. 2.) Take off a huge weight off my shoulders and allow me to feel what it is like to have people that know. And 3.) In hopes of support so that coming out to my family will be easier.

    I wish you the best of luck, and hope you'll figure it all out soon. :slight_smile: