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Letter or in Person?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nick1020, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. Nick1020

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    I want to begin living life openly gay; however, I cannot truly begin doing so until I come out to my immediate family. I have no worries about how my sisters and mother will respond. However, I do worry about my fathers response. My dad is a fairly conservative Christian who thinks that being gay isn't a choice but that it isn't gods plan either. Personally I think it is gods plan for me. I am currently on staff at a summer camp and will not be home for several weeks then after a short visit home I am off to college. My question for the community is this: do I call my dad as soon as possible and tell him, write an open letter to my family (now or later), or wait until I return from camp and tell them in person? I feel a letter may be advantageous simply because it would allow me to precisely say everything I need to without interruption.
     
  2. CactusCactus

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    Hello!

    There are lots of different ways to come out, and each has its own advantages. Writing a letter allows you to explain exactly what you want to say without any interruptions. Plus, you can edit it as much as you please to make it your best. However, it will probably be awkward coming home from the camp. Telling them in person allows you to say what you need face-to-face, without the awkward encounter coming home. It makes the people on the receiving end feel more empathetic and special, if you know what I mean. This is harder for people who are on the shy side, though.

    I would write out a basic outline of what you are going to say, and practice that a few times. When you come home and tell everyone, you will be more confident in your little speech, and there won't be any awkward pauses. This way, you will have the advantages of both writing a letter and explaining in person. Of course, you could choose whichever method you feel most comfortable with.

    Hope this helped! Good luck.
    I would write ou
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! I wonder, if it might not be better to come out to your mom and sisters first? Having their support, and perhaps even feedback on coming out to your dad, could give you a better sense of what the best way of coming out to him could or would be.

    If you can, maybe wait though until you are coming back from camp. I think it would be good if you are around, so that you can also speak with your family in person should you decide to come out to your sisters and mom through a letter as well.

    It sounds like that coming out to your dad through a letter is what you feel most comfortable with and perhaps also the best option, given your dad's beliefs. Writing a letter will definitely give you the chance to write out the things you would like your dad to know.
     
  4. Bossanova

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    There is also the choice of writing him a letter so that, as you said, you can tell him how you feel without being interrupted, and then when you get back talk to him in person about it and hear whatever he has to say, and say anything that you might still have yet to get off your chest. If you aren't comfortable with both writing a letter and coming out in person, then I'd simply come out in person as body language is the #1 way of communication.

    Hope this helps! :slight_smile:
     
  5. Van

    Van
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    I think that coming out in person is better than writing letters. But you do as you please.

    Let us know how it goes!
     
  6. jusfern

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    Personally im just as lost as you are, but for me coming out in person is the best way to do it because it shows you have the courage to go and tell them the truth while looking at there faces. Its like breaking up over the phone or through a text its like really breh why didnt you come to me in person huh huh why not. But this is also dependent on your situation for example I had to call my Mom and confess to her because she lives in a different state and i dont have the time or money to go on va-ca so really its the situation if your far far away give them a call if you can meet them in person tell them in person. Good luck and break a leg :grin: