1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Coming out to non-family

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Plutanan, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. Plutanan

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2013
    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    so, I haven't been on the site in awhile because I haven't needed it, so I suppose that's a good thing! Well, I've come out to my dad and sister which went great and since I'll be starting college, I'm prepared to be out to on a need-to-know basis, if someone asks or if I need to clarify.

    However, I'm currently stuck in a weird situation with friends at home.

    So my teacher will ask my friend if I have any crushes when I'm not around. When I am around, she'll comment about how me and a female friend are going to get married, but it's never a good time to tell my teacher because other students are in the room. As well, it would just be an awkward environment to tell my teacher. I'd also feel weird because I've had many opportunities to tell her I'm gay when she asked me about relationships but I avoided her questioning.

    So, how should I handle this? Should I tell her the next time I see? And how do I not make it weird by just coming out of the blue?

    More generally, how do you deal with telling friends who you've practically denied being gay to? Did you explain yourself or find a right time to tell them, like if they asked again about your preferences?

    I hope I've been clear enough but I can provide more info. Any advice would be great. (Edit: to simplify, I think my main hang up is that I feel compelled to tell my family because they should know. As for certain friends who aren't in my close circle, I feel awkward coming out to them without being asked and also it's not like I have a boyfriend they need to know about.)
     
    #1 Plutanan, Jul 17, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2015
  2. ChaoticMind

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2015
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    If she comments about a hetero marriage and it's just you two in the room, say something light and witty. However, if there are others in the room and you know you're not comfortable saying it in front of them, you may want to hold off.

    And as for telling friends, wait until you're ready. I've never actually had this experience, but just explain to them that you're actually not hetero. It will come as a shock to them, provided they haven't been suspecting things, but you may want to be ready for their surprise just in case.

    Good luck :slight_smile: