1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Desperately need help

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by s0lv0, Jul 19, 2015.

  1. s0lv0

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I'm at the end of my rope and I honestly don't know what to do.

    My name is Jonathan. A few years ago after a period of serious self-doubt and depression I realised that I was happier whenever I identified as a woman. Ever since then i've started referring to myself as one (feminine pronouns and the like), and while my friends have been fully supportive of me in the past few years, I'm worried about coming out to my family. They're a pretty old-timey bunch and my stepdad in particular already seems to have it in for me. I don't want to make my home-life anymore difficult for myself but at the same time, I realise I can't keep living a lie and pretending to be a man. Is there anything I can do to make this as easy as possible for me?
     
  2. starm

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2015
    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Supply NC
    Moving away from family would probably be the best choice, but a better way would tell your parents, but I don't know what you should say... maybe tell them now and see how there reactions are?
     
  3. FluidDive

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Probably the hardest part of the transition is all the people who don't understand. My roommate came out about her true self, and was endlessly harassed and tortured by those she thought were her closest friends. They wouldn't leave her alone until she made the knowledge public, and even afterward they made fake accounts and forum posts about her. They provided misinformation and disclosed her legal name against her will. I don't think those people had spoken to her in years, and yet they thought they knew who she was well enough to do such vindictive things to her. It's a real shame, but that's the world we live in.

    Anecdote aside, my best advice is to move in with a close friend who really understands you. You should probably do so for more reasons than just identity, though. Part of growing up is finding those who can look out for you and accept you for who you are, and to surround yourself with them. For now, though, focus on just becoming the person you will be proud to be. And, as a final word of advice, I'd recommend not using someone else's name and picture in the future.