Homophobic friend of a friend... who is always there

You don't have to have millions in common to be best friends with someone.
My best friend Chad and I have nothing in common really. I actually wonder daily why we're friends. I guess it's because we have the important things in common. We just understand each other.
Maybe that's why you're friends with this guy in the first place.

My best advice is to talk to your friend.
Talking solves almost everything.

My other advice is to start getting used to the idea that people and things change. It really sucks, but it's a big part of life.

 

Tell him to grow up.

 

Personally, i would never be friends with someone if i saw they had "Hitler" on there friends list on facebook, or top 10 on myspace

The way you described this guy makes me think hes not exactly someone you would even want YOUR friend hanging out with. Yea, alas, you cant choose your friends friends But you can talk to him about it. Explain, seriously explain, to your friend that making anti-gay remarks infront of you makes you feel un-comfortable and that you are not ok with it. I would just be blunt, so that he gets it. I had a friend of a friend like this too, but he was dis-respectful to women. Like, harshly. He grabbed atleast 5 of my girl friends ass'es. I told my friend that this guy was a sicko perv and that i didnt want to be anywerre near him while i was hanging around, and asked for warning if he was going to show up while we hung out. Sure enough, my friend just dumped the guy like a peice of meat. Good riddens, good for everyone that way.

(I dont get how people become friends when they act like this)

 

...Why would your friend let his friend treat you that way?

 

Buy a taser.

 

constantly saying faggot and insisting on checking out girls?
i thinik your friends friend may be hiding something

 

I feel so sorry for you. at the same time you should be proud :eusa_clap if someone said something "he likes it up the ass" just to offend me I would have punched him in the face! anyways If you want the devious way out I would recomend finding ways to exclude this person by means of jokes hopfully your friend will join in it will become a regular thing and subconciously he'll be closer to you through the excluding of the other:icon_twis:

 

Say stuff back or tell him to grow up.

 

Try to reason with him and talk, if that doesn't work he isn't worth it and tell him he needs to join modern society.

Doesn't he also realize Hitler didn't like South Americans, they aren't the pure race according to him...some neo-Nazi's and racists just make me laugh.

 

sounds like a major closet case to me

 

this is the most brilliant idea ive ever read. lol. jk.

you should talk to your friend. try and talk to him when that other homophob isnt there. or mayb on the phone. or something. dont fight the homophob. itll just mak things a WHOLE lot worse.
and i hope tat thing get better for u(*hug*)
(ppl said something about this homophob being a closet case...i kinda agree)

listen to my signature!! lol. its so true:smilewave

 

Damn. That sounds kinda sticky. I know how you feel though, a similar situation happened to me. Just try to do things only with your old friend. Ask to go to the movies, and make a point of not inviting lil' hitler. If he gets offended, be honest. "You see how he acts toward me, and while I know you're friends with him, that doesn't mean it needs to be a group hang out all the time." Simple... ish.

Best of luck, keep us posted.

 

Your friend can't be that good of a friend if he does nothing to stop somebody from insulting you, hurting your feelings, and making your time with him less enjoyable.

 

Well id say if you dont want to hang out with your friends friend, tell him that. Say you still want to be friends, but whenever the other guy is around you wont be. Ask for warning if hes going to be around and when hes going to be around. Dont compromise yourself! You should not have to put up with that, this is your choice just his your friend being friends with assholes is his choice. Your going to hate yourself if you hang around with this guy when you dont want to, so just dont. Simple as that.

 

I agree^

 

It sounds like you need to make a tough decision. There are three options, as I see it. First, you can just leave things as they are and put up with it. Second, You can talk to your friend and tell him how you feel. Or, lastly, you can choose to not spend time with your friend. There are no perfect solutions here. You cannot control what your friend will do or what this other person will do. You can only control what you do. So, it may be time to make a decision and then move forward. If you speak to your friend and he is not understanding, perhaps he was not such a good friend to begin with.

Another option is to engage in some banter back and forth with the homophobe. For instance, when he talks about someone "taking it in the ass," rather than react by showing that you are offended, say something like, "sounds like fun." In other words, let him know that you are proud of being gay and that what he says does not bother you. In a non-confrontational way, when he makes gay comments, ask him with a smile if there is something he wants to tell everyone about himself. Many times showing someone like this that their behavior is not affecting you will cause them to stop.

Good luck with whatever route you take and hang in there.

 

This guys is a typical im-too-cool guy, always needs to assure everyone that he is straight and with the straight dudes. Just throw him a little chirp if you find a time to chirp him, cz he clearly needs it.

As for your friend, you dont have to hang out with him and that dude. He is your friend too, so you got things in common that you can do too. Its not like your friend and that other dude are joint at the hip And yes I see you said that they are "ALWAYS" together, so maby try talk to your friend about his crude remarks and chirps towards you, cz if he is your friend, he should also feel insulted by it. IDK he mite click that you dont exactly wana hang out with his friend.