Well, in about a week, my cousin from california is supposed to be coming to Illinois for a family gathering. The reason why i'm so excited/scared about it? She's a lesbian. I don't really have a good relationship with her. It's not that we're on cross terms with each other, but we've hardly ever spoken to each other. I have no idea what her personality is like, or anything. I have been contemplating talking to her sometime when she's here, but I'm really scared and have no idea how to start a conversation like that. Most of the problem is that I'm extremely shy, another part is I don't know what telling her might lead to, good or bad. Does anyone have an idea of what I should do? I hope I can get this to work somehow, it'd be lovely to have someone in my family, and someone not just on the internet, to have support for me ^^;
why would you be scared? if she is a lesbian then she should understand that you are gay and want to keep it quiet for now.
Just the whole..coming out to your first person kind of thing I guess...I don't know. Like I said, I'm incredibly shy : /
i agree with crystaltriforce. besides maybe she might have felt the same way when she first decided to tell someone?
I cant see it turning out bad, and trust me once you do tell the person you will feel SO much better. Start building that support team!
She will understand a lot of what you are going through right now and it is always a good thing to have an ally when you are just coming out.Building your support team is huge and having your lesbian cousin who will understand better than any of your straight friends/relatives is a huge part of that support team.I think she will feel honored that you chose to come to her with this information.
I have a cousin who is a lesbian. I've never talked to her about it, but our relationship is kinda like yours. We've just never really spoke to eachother before, at least not since I was really little. If she comes to grandma's for Christmas, I'll try to talk to her, if we can find somewhere to talk in private with a million relatives packed in the house...But she may not even come....she *technically* isn't even my cousin, but we consider her to be family. You should really try to talk to her. I'm shy too, so I know where you're coming from, but you have to start somewhere. It's a good idea to start with somebody like that, that you know will support you and be there for you. And, if you do talk to her, maybe you'll find out you to get along really well and you'll have a new friend. Plus, it always feels great once you have finally told somebody.
Hey, I really think it would be great if you can tell her. It would be brilliant for you to talk to some one face to face who knows what your going thru.......... Saying that you will have time to talk to her and get to know her and see if you would feel comfortable sharing this with her or not!! Good luck. Let us know how you get on!!
Pretty much the exact same situation..Sorry to ask another question of you all, but I might as well get it out so I know..Do any of you have any ideas how to pull her away from everyone without anyone noticing, and for long enough to talk to her about it? I'm presuming theres going to be probably 10 or so people in a 2 story house..And I don't know whos gonna be where and for how long.
recently happened to me and my lesbian cousin....things turned out wonderfully and its good I have someone especially in my family I can turn to.
I think that if you make an effort to talk to her over the time she is there, then you will find that you are alone naturally at some point! Would she/you need to go out side for a fag at point?? If so that might be your time........... Is she staying for a while or this just one day??? I dont know how old she is, but maybe show her your room, show her your music or what not............ i am sure you will find the right time to tell her, or the right time to pull her to one side!!!
I don't know if she smokes, but if she does it probably wont be but like once, because it's 19F outside, fricken cold =x, and we're gonna be at someone elses house
Just a simple "Hey, no rush, but I'd like to talk to you in private at some point tonight." Not like a dire "I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING" don't make her think you're going to die. Trust me once you have someone close that supports and understands you it will make things so much easier. You'll probably find that that's a huge step in becoming closer to her, as you've probably gone through a lot of the same things emotionally as her as far as figuring out your sexuality. Mabye she'll even have some good advice for you. Best of luck. <3
If you two are around the same age maybe you could say "Man, I need to get away from these people for a little. Want to come?" That's what I end up doing with a cousin of mine who's around my age when we need a break from babysitting our little cousins. I think you should definitely try to talk about it with her though, it can be hard to get through the initial shyness, but it'll be worth it. Be patient, there's bound to be a time when you two will be able to talk about it in private. Good luck =)
I liked the advice, sadly she's in her 30's I think. So I don't know if that kind if situation might arise.
If she's in her thirties then chances are she's going to be even more helpful. I say go for it. Chances are you'll be nervous, but you'll feel so much better once it's over. Start off slow, telling people like this that you know will take the news well.
when you do manage to be alone with her it would help to slowly get into the topic of homosexuality and if you don't feel comfortable telling her straight out, maybe throw in some hints about you being gay sometime during your conversation. thats what i would do. hope it helps
