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Coming Out Letter to Fam

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nick1020, Jul 20, 2015.

  1. Nick1020

    Regular Member

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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Please read for readability, conciseness, grammar, spelling and conventions. I feel my conclusion may need work as well.

    Dear Family,

    I have something important to share with you in this letter. I request that you read through the entirety of this letter before contacting me. Regrettably, I cannot tell you in person because it is very important that I am able to say everything I need to say in an accurate, concise and uninterrupted manner. This is something that I feel would not be possible if I were to attempt to tell you in person. The news I must share with you is that I am gay.

    I have had months to process and consider this but I understand you are hearing this for the first time. Take a moment before you read on, but not too long, it is important that you read the entire letter. I am gay, this means that I am attracted to men. I wish to date and seek relationships with men. There are several things I wish for you to understand. First, yes, I am sure. I am writing you because I can say with a comfortable amount of certainty, I am gay. Second, no it's not a phase, nor is it for attention. If I was doing this for attention I would have told everyone already. Third, I am the exact same person I have always been.

    Since probably middle school or freshman year I have had relatively consistent ruminations. However, I immediately brushed them off almost subconsciously. As time progressed, the ruminations grew stronger and I had to consciously reason with myself that I was not gay. The past several months have been difficult. War was waging within me. I spent many nights staying up pondering where I fell on the sexuality spectrum. Only recently has it become clear to me that I am gay. Even more recently have I come to accept this fact.

    This is not a choice I am making. This is not a choice anybody makes, nobody can choose their gender or sexual orientation. My sexual orientation not the result of your parenting, nor is it a result of any external force. Being gay is predominantly the result of nature, not nurture. That being said, being gay cannot be considered a sin. Sin is when one makes a conscious and deliberate choice that is against God's will. Therefor, sin only exists as a result of God's gift of free will. Because being gay is not a choice, it is not a sin. Dad, you have often likened being gay to having cancer. I believe this to be completely false. Being gay is not a bad thing, cancer, we can all agree, is a very bad thing. I believe that it is God's plan for me to be gay. Furthermore, I believe that God blesses and welcomes homosexual marriages. Many people in the church cite Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 as evidence that God does not look well upon homosexual marriages and relationships. At first glance this appears to be the case. However, if the one believes in following the letter of the law as layed out in Leviticus, why do we not condem farmers who plant soy and corn in the same field, or those who wear cotten and polyester on the same day? Why does the church not rally against them and take up arms against them? If the church views some rules as outdated and not worth following and others as not, they are hypocrites. Furthermore, Jesus did not speak about homosexuality, however, he did speak about divorce. Why do we not cast from the church any man or women who has gone through a divorce? Does this not make them hypocrites? Jesus did not speak about homosexuality, but he did strongly condemn hypocrisy. Further still, some may offer the writings of Paul in I Corinthians and I Timothy. Paul was charged with teaching the teachings of Jesus. As previously mentioned, Jesus did not say anything about homosexuality. Moreover, Paul was a Jew, this meant that he new and followed the law of the Old Testament. If this is the law that he new and followed, it makes sense that it would find its way into his letters. Paul is not Jesus, his teachings are not law. Paul's letters are simply a means of showing a possible interpretation and application of the teachings of Jesus. While on the surface it may appear that the Bible tells us what God thinks of homosexuality, the truth is that much of the law of the Old Testament is outdated and no longer relavent.

    I hope you have found this letter informative and helpful in dispelling common Christian belief about being gay. Please take the requisite time to collect your thoughts and emotions before contacting me. Thank you for reading and understanding.

    Love,



    [Nick1020]
     
  2. j13

    j13 Guest

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    I really enjoyed reading this and wish I had the courage and conviction to do the same. I had never thought about coming out through a letter - I think writing a letter, even if I don't sent it, will help me.
    Reading this has really helped me. Thank you so much
    All the best from down under
     
  3. Pouletto

    Regular Member

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    Great letter! I'm not too familiar with the religion aspect of it, since I'm not really religious, nor is my family. Also, I think it's a wonderful idea to ask them to take their time processing your coming out letter.

    Maybe I'll try to do the same with my family, I think I'm finally ready to tell them
     
  4. PurpleKitten

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    This is a great letter! Congrats!
     
  5. Bryan44

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    I think this is a great letter. I also come from a very religious family, but I came out in a different way. I wish I would done something more like this. Good luck and God bless! The only grammatical error I saw was the word "new." I don't know if you meant to write "knew."