I need advice! I have always been attracted to males. I grew up in an environment of religious oppression and a step father that was always very vocally against homosexual behavior. My parents reacted to my first sexual encounter with a girl by shaming my behavior and trying to strengthen their grip of control over my life (16 at the time). This generated a lot of shame in my own perceptions of sex. I tried to ignore the attraction I felt towards men. In my early 20s I had three children and got married. I don't know if I felt like that having a family would somehow make me a "normal" man, heterosexual with wife and kids... now I am at a breaking point. I care deeply for my wife, and feel terrible for getting her into this position (married to a gay/bi man with kids). The thought of loosing my kids, or being a 'weekend dad', drive me insane. The thought of continuing to live a life of lies drives me even more insane.
That's a really difficult position to be in. Have you come out to your wife? If you have not, I think that may be a step in the right direction. If you're not comfortable coming out to her yet though, it's understandable. I personally think you should consider it though.
you may be gay or bi or you might not really you will only find out once you try it and come out too your wife, if youre wife does not see that you are the same man she married back then then dont get mad instead try to talk it out even when she kicks you out or makes you sleep on the couch talk it out and try to find resolve and not divorce dont yell at her if she yells at you she will just be very confused and flooded with feelings so try to help her understand and she will love you after you tell her get or do something you know will make her happy.
