Hello everyone, I just wanted to say that this forum is great to have been told about, and I'm really thrilled that there's a community like this. I don't really get involved in communities online, but I'm in a very weird situation. I am transgender. I was born a female, but by the time I was 6 (well, the earliest I remember), I didn't feel comfortable at all, especially when my parents, teachers, and classmates identified me as a female. I didn't feel like a girl at all, but I didn't really know better at the time. My mom and dad considered me a tomboy, I wore boys' clothes, played with boys' toys, everything. I've known for a quite a while in short. When I turned 14, I got made fun of a lot for having my hair short and still wearing boys' clothes. I eventually got sick of it, told myself to grow up, and suppressed my feelings regarding my gender. I did this for four years, and here I am. I have no self esteem, I am disgusted with being my born gender (to make it clear - I'm not saying girls are disgusting in general. I'm straight from my true gender's perspective. I'm just disgusted that I myself am a female. Sorry if that doesn't make sense.) Over the past few weeks, I have started transitioning back to what I'm most comfortable with, appearance wise. I told my best friend, and she has been amazingly supportive. She's even offered to go with me to re-do my wardrobe so I have clothes I'm comfortable with. But, it's not really getting bad so to say, but over the past few days especially whenever someone calls me a "lady" or identifies me as female, I've been on the verge of tears, even with one breakdown today during work over it. I know now, I am ready to fully transition, but I have other issues regarding this. I don't technically need a parent for this, but I do want them to know. (I'm currently 18) Now I'm down to two issues. My parents, and a boyfriend that I have been with for almost three and a half years now. And I really need help on what I should do when I come out to them, especially my boyfriend. I do plan on breaking up with him, and I know this sounds terrible, but I'm waiting for that until he moves out of my mom's and is on his own. Mostly because he has been physically/verbally violent with me in the past, and I don't want to get into that again. I know me coming out would be the end of the relationship anyways, he's straight, so am I, and neither of us would have any attraction to each other once I start making my personal changes. I don't know how to approach him or my parents about it. I just need this, I feel like I'm in my place whenever someone does accept me as a male. It's hard to explain, I don't want to be trapped like this anymore.
Hello. I can relate to you when you said that you were disgusted with the gender you were assigned at birth and how much it bothers you when someone refers to the gender that's the opposite of what you identify as. As for coming out, I think you should do that whenever you feel completely ready. Don't let anyone make you feel pressured to do it and don't pressure yourself. Coming out will be scary, but you can do it. I know you can. Obviously you need to break up with your boyfriend if he treats you that way and if you are straight. I'm sorry that he's been treating you that way. I think that parents are usually the hardest people to come out to, so take your time and wait till you're ready. You are a strong, brave man! Good luck with your transition! I'd love it if you kept us updated
Most important is you. If you don't feel comfortable being female then don't be! It's your body and your the one who has to live with it every second of your life. I think it's a good idea to play it safe regarding your boyfriend because i don't want anyone to get hurt. Maybe it would be worthwhile getting a counselor to help you break up with him and figure out your feelings. Definitely don't shy away from who you truly are and don't stay in a relationship because of fear. Good luck
