OK, so my friend "likes" someone in an eastern state, and, well, he's here, in California. He claims that he knows him well enough and long enough to actually marry him. And well, that's what he's planning on doing once he's 17. Thing is, he's gay, and it's a guy, and his mom disapproves, the other guy's mom probably does too, and the two guys don't even know each other. Only through myspace and texting. I don't know what to say, frankly, so I need help from you, EC! I want to help him decide the right thing.
Does he have to marry him right away? If he plans on being with the guy, that stands to reason that they would have to get together. So, instead of marrying him, he should at least meet him in person? Is there any reason why they can't date in real life first?
Tell him he should live with his bf before they get married, because knowing someone and being able to Live with them are two different things. you could hate them once you spend that Much time with them.
Tell him to take it slow and not rush into such a thing. Marriage is meant to be permanent and for your true love and true love only. I'm not saying that is always happens like this, though it would be awesome if it did, but he isn't that old right now and has lots of time ahead of him to think his life thru and make sure this is what he wants. People who just rush into things without much thought usually doesn't end up well.
Live with him? He hasn't even met him face to face! He needs to slow way down. He only knows him online? That's not only foolish,it's dangerous! :eusa_doh:
Don't trust anything anyone says online. Ever. I learned the hard way. Fake name, fake picture, fake interests, fake everything. Oh, and if he says he's known him long enough to marry him, I hope your friend has known him for 5+ years. I doubt an 11 year old is chatting online with other gay kids, though.
Yeah you gotta be careful with that sort of thing. Here is my experience in a nutshell. Met a girl online, were best friends for like 6 months then she came out to visit me for 2 weeks to see if we would be good for eachother. Had a blast. We were planning on being together and get married someday then I found out a month later she asked someone to be her boyfriend the DAY before she came out to visit me. And had been playing us the whole time. On the other hand, my aunt met a guy on Diablo 2, he came out to visit her a couple times and now he has moved here from Cali and they will probly get married. So in conclusion, be careful and meet a few times first and watch out for sketchy red flags
that's exactly what I was thinking. It's just plain silly. The other guy good be god knows who...some freaky weirdo sitting at his desk just waiting for the other guy to send hime some naked pictures or whatever. It's really dangerous. The first step should be to meet this person if he really wants to, but only accompanied by another (preferably adult) person. Then they should go from there. There are really creepy people out there!! Especially on the net. Also, tell him not to tell this guy any(more) private details-address, phone number, real name, etc.
My friend claims that he "knows" him, because he tells him everything and that he knows everything about him, but It's like, who the heck is this other guy? I tell my friend everything too, and he doesn't know me, and we live, like, 5 miles apart! So what makes you able to know someone at least 20 states eastward? I don't understand!
How old is your friend? And how old is this guy? And how long have they been "talking" with each other? There's still a lot of stuff we need to know first. And also.. Is your friend quite a mature person? All these things must be taken into consideration. But I must say that yeah... Planning on marrying somebody just because you've been talking to them on the net is waaaaayyy too rushed. And I'd say it's quite foolish too.
He's 16, the other guy is 16. YEAH. Well, he's kinda mature, for some things, but in the end, I don't think he's ready for this AT ALL, honestly.
i cant imagine why you would want to marry someone before you have met them in person and even then meeting up with people from the net is dangerous
A friend of mine did the same thing at age 15. She was completely obsessed with this (17-year-old) girl who lived in another country, woke up at 3 AM to call her every morning, made plans to visit her and talked constantly about how they were soul mates and were going to marry. (This is while she was sleeping around, had several boyfriends, and was also kind of dating me, on and off.) Thankfully, they broke up before they met up in person. I couldn't talk any sense into her.
It's an obsession with somebody, and why does he say that he wants to marry him despite not ever meeting him before? Have you got him to try to even speak with you?
