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I just came out to my dad? URGENT ADVICE PLS

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by grungeteen, Jul 22, 2015.

  1. grungeteen

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    I literally just came out to my dad as bisexual (but still questioning) and I don't know what to do now. I retreated back to my room before he could say much because I was so embarrassed. Now I am cringing so much it hurts, it was all so cringe, I had to repeat "I think I am bisexual" to him like 3 times. I know he is very supportive of the LGBT community so I am not worried he'll be angry or anything but I am just so embarrassed and I don't if I can ever look him in the eye again or even just talk to him and act like before- I feel so embarrassed that I wish I didnt say anything! He said some like I love you stuff and then " give yourself time to think about bla bla bla" or something but it made me feel like he didn't believe me or think I was serious or anything and that maybe he thinks this really is just a phase which is what is upsetting me. I want to talk about it further but I can't face him, I'm too embarrassed. I really wish he would come to me and actually try and have a conversation with me. I feel so messed up right now!!!
     
  2. PurpleKitten

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    I know its hard. Letting him know was the hard part and the most important. To be honest, their is not much to talk about. You're bisexual, still questioning maybe, but thats it. Try to change the subject and talk about something else, maybe he will approach you about it later. Its a lot to take in for some parents and maybe he just needs some time.
     
  3. confusedbubble

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    Give him time to let the news sink in, he may be slightly shocked at what you've told him. You can always bring it up tomorrow sit him down and talk to him, tell him that you are what you are and still questioning let him ask a few questions it sounds like he supports lgbt so sounds like you are ok
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    Stay clam and take a few deep breaths. It sounds like the news might have surprised your Dad, but he certainly didn't react with hate or hostility towards you and that's a good thing.

    Nothing can prepare our parents for a sudden coming out and it often takes a bit of time for the news to sink in. In the immediacy of the moment they may be lost for words and might even say things that are unhelpful, but that's not usually the last word.

    If your Dad is struggling, please refer him to FFLAG for advice and support. They have a good website with lots of information: FFLAG hompage Home
     
  5. Chip

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    Hi, and welcome.

    You've taken the first step, and that's an incredibly courageous thing to do. Any time we make ourselves vulnerable (such as by sharing something like that), we have what's referred to as a "vulnerability hangover" where we feel the full intensity of the shame and all of our fears. So what you're experiencing is entirely normal.

    YOur dad sounds like an amazing person. But this is likely a shock for him... it's something you've been thinking about for a while but it's new to him.

    Anytime we process any sort of loss (in this case, loss of perception you're straight) there are stages we go through... denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. So it makes perfect sense that his first response would be "Think about it and make sure" becuase the "denial" response is that his first thought is he hopes it's not true. But he'll get past this pretty quickly.

    You could even point him here if you want... we have a forum just for parents thinking about these things.

    And the other piece is, for most people your age, taking about *anyting* having to do with sex is mortifying, so it's understandable that it would be uncomfortable for you.

    But you've done the hard work. I know it feels really scary and awful right now, but I promise it will feel *much* better very soon.
     
  6. Runner5

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    I know you might think that things won't go back to normal, but give it a week and I promise you things will be running smoothly.