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Are you out at work?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by edogs334, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. edogs334

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    If so, how supportive (or non-supportive) are your coworkers and/or bosses? If you feel as though you can't be, then how do you deal with people's questions about your personal life? It seems like people wouldn't think twice about asking others "Are you married?" or "Do you have a ________ (insert hetero-appropriate partner here)?" I think most people ask these questions without malicious intent, but isn't it kind of hard to tell the truth if you have a strong suspicion the other person doesn't like gay people (ie- you know they're a fundy/evangelical)?
     
  2. crystaltriforce

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    i'm affraid to come out at work. mainly because i work at a rectory. i will most likely be out at the next place i will work at when i get a new and better job.
     
  3. littledinosaurs

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    I'm not,(but i'm also in high school) But my bosses are accepting, noting to label most invitations with "bring significant others" and wording like that.
    But it'd be weird.
     
  4. Apocalypte

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    I wasn't out in my last job (tech support for large pharmaceutical company) simply because I worked with a lot of Polish people who were pretty hardcore Catholic, but I am out in college.
     
  5. s5m1

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    I am not out at work. Where I work is rather homophobic, so I don’t feel comfortable coming out without potentially losing my job. I am currently actively working to leave and one of the significant criteria for my new position will be a diverse and accepting workplace. The questions are uncomfortable, and unfortunately frequent: have I been dating, what did I do this weekend, etc. It is especially hard because I am dating someone right now, just not who they might think. I am looking forward to when I am in a new position where I can be completely out.
     
  6. EM68

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    I am not out at all at work. I am not too sure how they would accept me. I just started the job and still being trained. As of right now even after I am done training I don't think I will be coming out.
     
  7. Pendrin2020

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    I'm kind of and I'm kind of not. People who ask will know and people who don't like it really don't ask. There is one officially out lesbian in my department and one officially out gay man and everyone is pretty cool with them. The place is like Nerdopia anyway so everyone really gets along. Only a few people know for sure about me but It's nice to work in a place where I really don't need to care cuz' everyone is so cool with it. It's like I found the only sanctuary in the south from the redneck right. I was actually thinking about this topic the other day. Well brought up.
     
    #7 Pendrin2020, Dec 19, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2008
  8. thebikelady

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    Not out at work. I don't think it would really be an issue with most of my co-workers, but I am in a position where it may be problematic in the way of transfer/promotion outside of my specific store. I live in one of the states where you can get canned just for being gay and the company policy doesn't cover it either. What is covered: "Discrimination based on race, color, creed, ancestry, age, sex, religion, national origin, disability, veteran status, or any other category protected under federal, state or local law is strictly prohibited."
    So, pretty much everything but.
     
  9. Mirko

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    Hi! I am out to a few where I felt it would be good if they would know. It has happened that people have asked my about my personal life. Not too long ago I was asked by someone if I have a girlfriend. I answered it with a simple no and asked the person if he has a girlfriend. Eventually he mentioned a few other things where I could zero in on, and so the conversation moved on.

    Maybe what would help, if someone asks you about your personal life, and you feel uncomfortable, keep your answers short and to the point. For example if someone asks you do you have a girlfriend, you could try answering 'no, do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?' and listen to what he/she says and try to ask a few more questions based on what the person says. Most of the time the conversation will move on to other things.
     
  10. mnmpython

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    Well, I would say yes I am out at work. It's not like i go out shouting it, but the rainbow necklace I never take off along with my boycut hair is sufficient in doing that for me. Honestly, noone ever brings it up. They treat me the same. If they were to ask me something about it, I would answer honestly and continue on with my day no matter what their intentions in asking were. If something bad were to happen as in somone giving me crap about it, well, there are laws to protectme and I would take it up with my supervisors and deal with it accordingly. Where I live it's not that big of deal even tho sometimes I think it is. There are gay people everywhere and If you are in a big town, nobody is going to stone you lol
     
  11. edogs334

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    Thanks so much for all the replies thus far.(&&&) I currently live in one of the states that doesn't explicitly prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation, so I guess that's why I asked. My employer (I'm a student, actually) has a clear non-discrimination statement (includes sexual orientation), and there are a few active LGBT organizations on campus. People who don't approve of it/don't like it ("the HO-MO-SEXual lifestyle" as they call it) don't seem to be too vocal about it at all (at least on campus). And most of the administration seems to support the aforementioned organizations. However, as I said before, there are some students (along with some professors/staff) who I strongly suspect are homophobic. Hence, if I come out to multiple people and it becomes common knowledge, I'm afraid of (esp) the professors thinking less of me simply because of who I'm attracted to in my personal life. For now, I put a sticker from a gay rights organization (which probably not a whole lot of ppl know about) on my laptop, so at least people who know what that means will know.
     
    #11 edogs334, Dec 20, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2008
  12. EM68

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    I am in Massachusetts and I was wondering if sexual orientation is part of the anti- discrimination laws? Also I am considered a independent contractor, a 1099 employee.
     
  13. Z3ni

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    Nope, theres a gay guy at work and maybe 2, no body seems to mind him so they're probably accepting but I'm not going to come out at work anyway.
     
  14. edogs334

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    Yes, I'm quite sure that sexual orientation is a protected status in MA. Here's a website to look on:

    http://www.glad.org/
     
  15. MusicIsLife

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    I am very out at work :slight_smile: One of the managers is gay, as well as 2 other coworkers. If Anyone there is homophobic, they havent said anything to my face.
     
  16. tm74

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    I'm not out at work - although 2 of the people who know do work in the same office - but it's not "common knowledge"...
     
  17. george678

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    I am out at school.
     
  18. Lexington

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    I'm out at both jobs. There are other gays at both places, and nobody has any issue with it.

    Lex
     
  19. Jim1454

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    I'm not out at work at all. I waited until a good friend of mine from work was laid off before I told her (not that I was waiting for her to be laid off, you know...)

    For me, it will require some explaining and would likely be a bit of a big deal. Of course everyone I work with knows that I have children and was married up until a couple of years ago. So to say I was gay would likely be met with a "Huh?!?"

    And I was talking about this the other day with another member here... I work at a VERY large company, and yet there are NO openly gay people that I'm aware of. Of ALL the people I work with, I'd be the only openly gay person that I know. So that might be a little weird. However, it is a VERY large company, and as such it has great protections against descrimination. I don't really have any 'worries' about coming out - other than the very awkward initial conversations.

    For now, I'm staying in. My kids will be the next people to be told, and I'm still not sure when that will be. Perhaps this summer - they'll be 8 and 6...
     
  20. Paul_UK

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    I'm fully out at work. The company owner is gay as are several of my colleagues including two that I share an office with. Nobody there has any issues with gays and lesbians - if they did they wouldn't have a job for long!