So I knew I liked boys at 11. I came out to my friends at 13. I came out to my mother some weeks ago while 15, and it went wrong. She got angry. Now Im starting high school and there are lots of boys, I wish I could have a boyfriend but I dont have self steem and too dependent. I never even kissed a boy. The problem is some days ago I got into a fight with my mom. She said I would get HIV, and I was going to suck dicks and boys were going to penetrate me, and things about the bible and gay people she knew who died. She saif I needed got to change my lifestyle. Then she said people at school made fun of me, they cursed me but only some people only like ony 10 times. But she said my sisters heard more of the words they called me. My sisters love teasing me and they bully me a lot. I cant stand them anymore i fear everybody on my house. My sister had a gay friends who is very promiscuos and they bullied him a lot. And know Im scared of comming out. I wanted to get on the cheerleading team, and my dad didnt let me. Im really scared and in so much pain. Its like if im choking out. Thanks
To start with, I'm going to send you a hug. (*hug*) And a group hug. (&&&) And a picture of a bunch of baby button quails. Now, part two. First of all, don't stress out about not having a boyfriend. I'm 16 and also haven't kissed a boy. I know it can feel frustrating, I've certainly been there, but eventually it will happen. More importantly, however, your mom should not be telling you those things. You aren't going to hell. If you practice safe sex, you aren't going to get HIV. If you want to safely & consensually suck dicks and/or be penetrated by guys, then that should be fine, and again, as long as you use a condom and follow other safety measures, you won't get HIV from it. It's concerning that anyone has cursed you for being gay - 1 time from 1 person is too much. If it gets worse and you want to talk to school administrators or a guidance counselor or some adult at the school you trust, do it. Finally, your sisters, mother, and father, should absolutely not be bullying you. Know that they have no right to and remember that being gay is absolutely not wrong. If you think one of them might be worth reasoning with, I'm sure you can search the forum to find detailed explanations of why being LGBT is perfectly fine. If any of them physically abuses you, get help. If you ever need to pretend to be straight to stay safe or get financial support until financially independent, do it. I hope you can soon join the cheerleading team and express yourself in any other way you want to. Be strong, and if you ever feel like you need to reach out to me or the rest of the EC community to do so, then do it. We are listening and we will support you, no matter how much the people directly around you fail to.
I wish I could tell you its all gonna be fine and your over thinking this but I can't. Teenagers suck especially when it comes to close mindedness that's why I haven't come out its just easier, but if you really want to id hold off on it for at least the first year.make a group of kind supportive friends and tell them its not really anybody elses buisness. If you want to come out to everyone I'm warning you people are gonna be mean. Just try to keep strong and remember they're hateful pieces of shit that take their problems out on others. If you ever need somebody to talk to don't hesitate to message me I know what its like to go through a rough time about this and id be happy to talk anytime. Good luck with everything! You deserve to be happy!
It might be very tangential, but they are misguided in more than one way in stopping you from doing cheerleading. If you were interested, that is the number one way for high school guys to get to know tons of athletic, gorgeous girls. Your mom is only trying to protect you. Unfortunately she is only repeating the things that other people have said about being gay, and none of it applies unless you allow it. I can't imagine it's an easy life. Maybe keep talking to her about it? The chance that she'll see beyond her opinions is slim, but it might not be zero.
That's a great advice thanks. Also today I made a maybe aromantic friend who also happens to have a trans friend, and I'm full of supportive people right now. And my mom is listening to my explanations about the lgbtqa+ things.
As far as the religious argument is concerned, feel free to use any part or whole of my research/writing on the topic: Being gay is predominantly the result of nature, not nurture. That being said, being gay cannot be considered a sin. Sin is when one makes a conscious and deliberate choice that is against God's will. Therefor, sin only exists as a result of God's gift of free will. Because being gay is not a choice, it is not a sin. Furthermore, I believe that God blesses and welcomes homosexual marriages. Many people in the church cite Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 as evidence that God does not look well upon homosexual marriages and relationships. At first glance this appears to be the case. However, if the one believes in following the letter of the law as laid out in Leviticus, why do we not condemn farmers who plant soy and corn in the same field, or those who wear cotton and polyester on the same day? Why does the church not rally against them and take up arms against them? If the church views some rules as outdated and not worth following and others as not, they are hypocrites. Furthermore, Jesus did not speak about homosexuality, however, he did speak about divorce. Why do we not cast from the church any man or woman who has gone through a divorce? Does this not make them hypocrites? Jesus did not speak about homosexuality, but he did strongly condemn hypocrisy. Further still, some may offer the writings of Paul in I Corinthians and I Timothy. Paul was charged with teaching the teachings of Jesus. As previously mentioned, Jesus did not say anything about homosexuality. Moreover, Paul was a Jew, this meant that he knew and followed the law of the Old Testament. If this is the law that he new and followed, it makes sense that it would find its way into his letters. Paul is not Jesus, his teachings are not law. Paul's letters are simply a means of showing a possible interpretation and application of the teachings of Jesus. While on the surface it may appear that the Bible tells us what God thinks of homosexuality, the truth is that much of the law of the Old Testament is outdated and no longer relavent.
