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sick of living a lie

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ant12, Jul 23, 2015.

  1. ant12

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    turnersville
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    It's taken a while to admit the fact i was gay. I would just ignore it so i wouldn't have to deal with it and the backlash from my family or friends. Being a teenaged guy, other guys make it seem like the worst thing in the world you could be called is gay. All my friends are straight, and I'm sure at least one of them will not take the news well because they are religious and openly homophobic. My family is neutral except my grandparents and uncle who are homophobic and flipped shit when gay marriage was legalized. Im 18 and depend on my family. I know they would never kick me out over something like this, but i can't tell if I'm emotionally ready. i feel like all my relationships with my straight friends ( none of which i am attracted to whatsoever) will change once they find out...which i know would just prove they're not my real friends but its still hard and i don't feel like dealing with it :frowning2:. Should i wait until I'm more independent or just let the truth come out?:eek:
     
  2. j13

    j13 Guest

    Joined:
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    Location:
    bendigo
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    i am a bit older than you, but found myself in a similar situation.

    I am still not out, so please do not think I am an expert or anything. for me, I ignored it and pretended I was straight for so long. I still do. I have recently found a really great friend I can trust and confide in. He had really helped me a lot and accepts me for who I am. He's kindness and acceptance is a feeling I cant describe. for the first time in my life I was being accepted for being me and not who I was suppose to be. It is this which has made me think about coming out.

    I am still yet to come out, but I can see myself doing soon. It is easy for me to say as I am older and in a (most likely) more financially stable position. WHat my friend said to me - "only come out if you want to. You do not owe anyone anything and your sexuality is your own business. if you feel ready you should do it. but most importantly, take your time. You are in no rush and I will be here to support you."

    Maybe you can find a new friend or confide in someone you really trust. I know when I come out I will have his support. It sounds like that's what you need. Support. I am sure you are a great person and kind. If people cant look past your sexuality, so be it. Do what is best for you and no one else (I still struggle with this). Just remember to take all the time that you need. Be sure that you are emotionally ready =)
     
  3. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    2,141
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    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My take. The sooner you come out, becoming more honest with yourself and others, the better. You need love and acceptance. You are not going to get it when you're in the closet.

    Later
     
  4. 50ishandout

    Full Member

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    16. You have an entire life ahead of you.

    The "friends" you have today will be a mere memory in the future.

    Live your life, love who you want, time goes fast.
     
  5. HunGuy

    HunGuy Guest

    As long as OP is dependent on his family, it is not quite wise to do so.