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gay-straight friendships after coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jacko, Jul 24, 2015.

  1. Jacko

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    How did coming out affect your relationship with you same sex straight friends? What were the benefits? Did they treat you differently? Was it a good different or bad different. I'm thinking of coming out to two of my straight friends and I want to know how its going to affect our friendship. Thanks for your help.
     
  2. Fallingdown7

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    Didn't change anything for me at all. Just depends how homophobic your friends are.
     
  3. queermeerkat

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    The closest thing to a change I experienced with my same-sex friends after coming out was it being funnier when someone made a gay joke
     
  4. Chiroptera

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    Same thing to me.

    I'm really picky when choosing friends, so i didn't have any problem.
     
  5. The Wallflower

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    My bud-buds are all straight. I wouldn't say they're homophobic, but they definitely don't support my sexuality. They support me, though...

    It doesn't make sense in a way, I know. My sexuality is a part of me, but it isn't all I am. We aren't just gonna stop being friends because I'm gay. That would be like saying that I'm going to stop being friends with them because they're christian, which is ridiculous. They're more than just christians.

    Whenever I talk to them about guys that I like or anything else LGBT related, we speak normally. They don't judge me or say it's wrong. It saddens me that they don't support my sexuality, but you can't change that.
     
  6. Leifa

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    Most of my friends as a teen were guys anyway so it didn't really change anything xD They've been SUPER supportive.
     
  7. justin88

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    When I came out to my best friend he didn't mind at all. If anything, we're even better friends now than before. Again, it depends if your friends are homophobes. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  8. C06122014

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    Some of my guy friends and I became closer friends, most of my guy friends are my friends because of their relationships with my girl friends :lol: a few of us became better friends so that's also nice :slight_smile: but none of them pushed me away because of my sexuality. I guess it does depend on how accepting they are of gay people? Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  9. one guy: he had no problem with it. he is straight.

    another guy: stopped talking to me and did not return texts or calls. i also told him i liked him too at the same time.

    another guy: i told him i was into him and into dudes. he said he was straight. he continued to be my friend. i pushed the envelope by continuing to flirt with him, he eventually stopped reaching back out to me and now nothing.

    if you like the guy, dont tell him you like him. just say you're gay and dont mention liking him if you want him to stay around.
     
  10. ToneDef

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    I told my bestfriend I was bisexual and the next week when we got drunk, which neither of us really ever do, he told me he thought I loved him. And I don't. But because I like guys, we were hanging out a lot (which we go through periods of hanging out endlessly anyways), and I tend to think a lot of my friends and do a lot for them, I'm in love. I told him immediately, as cool as could be, that I'm not interested in him like that. Hopefully he got the point.
     
  11. Jacko

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    One of them let's call him b isn't homophobic at all and I've considered telling him before. I think I might pull together the courage to tell him sometime this year. The other one let's call him n is the nicest guy I've ever met and I think he might be okay with it, the only thing is ive got a huge crush on him and I think he can tell. I'm afraid if I come out to him he'll be uncomfortable when he knows for sure that I'm gay and crushing on him. Like he's changed clothes and stuff in front of me and if he knows I'm gay... I don't know I just really don't want him to be uncomfortable around me.
     
  12. 50ishandout

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    Haven't had an issue with any of my straight friends. Everyone has been great.

    However I heard tonight that a guy I've known since we were kids was told about me and he just didn't believe it. He couldn't be. It's just not right. Well guess what. I am. Can't wait to se him.
     
  13. Batman

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    No problems at all. Of course, I've only come out to straight people who I know to be allies :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Benefits: You can talk about gay stuff
    Drawbacks: you don't have as many cool secrets
     
  14. guitar

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    Most of my friends are straight males & none have had an issue with it as far as I know. I've told them point blank: I'm not onto you. We're still friends as always. I'm about as into you as you're into me.
     
  15. DarkDays8525

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    The people I work with are very supportive of my bisexuality none have a issue with it. My family are all bigots so I don't bring it up to them at all. I'm very happy to be who I am and not let what others say bring me down.
     
  16. pennylane1988

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    Same here :lol: We became closer friends.
     
    #16 pennylane1988, Jul 27, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2015
  17. ThatKaiGuy

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    I didn't have any problems with mine, thankfully.

    Honestly though if any of them do have a problem that is more than a "Er so you like guys..." sort of thing, then they aren't really your friends.

    I can't think of anything my friends would do that would actually make me think "what the..." let alone be horrible to them.
     
  18. MrSkittles

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    Most were ok but one of them was grossed out an just started to ignore me and the others started to make offensive jokes.
     
  19. loveislove01

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    Straight female friends: Not at all, they're the nicest people ever. Sometimes they make gay jokes but never in an offensive way. Never felt awkward around me and we're still affectionate with each other.
    Straight male friends: Some of them reacted really sweet, but most guys in general who know have had a pretty bad reaction.
     
  20. YuriBunny

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    It was kinda awkward at first, but it passed within a week or so.