Hi everyone. I am new here and I've already got a question: How should I come out? I really don't know how to do it... It's not really a question about wether to come out or not-I'm pretty damn sure my mum and dad would be so supportive(honestly, my mum has given me quite a few of books over the past couple of years which had lesbian main characters as if she was just waiting for me to tell her) and most of my friends would be, too, I think.My problem is just that I am so horibly bad at talking about serious things...when I got my periods it was so hard for me to tell my mum, even though there's nothing bad about it, I am jsut very shy, or I don't know, I just don't like to talk about my private life. I've always kept it this way. When I had crushes (girls or boys, either way) I never told my parents, and often not even my friends...I know most people around me would be accepting, and it would make things ten thousand times easier, but I just don't know how to do it. I always think it would be soooo akward...if I write a letter, the nect time they see me it would be so weird, no one would know how to act. Face-to-face would be good but I think I am too shy about it. And I also don't know who to tell first, my three best friends...two of them are kind of very religious and the other one's boy crazy, but still I think they would accept me. And I don't particularly want everyone at school to know(in my class) cos some of the guys would probbly make jokes and stuff...I am just not sure. I've always wanted to come out when I have my first girlfriend, would be so easy, and then you know, you'd have at least one person that would (obviously) support you. But then again, I don't think I'll find a girlfriend while living in the closet, I mean, how would I? Nobody knows that I am a lesbian, and I don't know any out gay person. So now, can anyone help me? Lol, I know it's kind of hard to tell some one what's the best way to go about coming out to particular people but I just don't know how to do it. But I really want to. And how can you know for yourself if you are really, really ready to come out? Thanks
~I have the same problem as you because i dont no how to come out to my parents.~ ~as for your question about when do u no your ready to come out. If you think that you are ready than your ready.~
What if you gave them a letter, but sat with them in the room while they read it. Those few moments (minutes) would be awkward, but there wouldn't be the added stress of "what's going to happen when I actually see them." You'll find out right away and sicne it's a letter, you can plan out exactly what you want to say.
I know what you mean about not being able to talk about private things. I`m like that too. I especially can`t talk about my feelings for some reason. Anywho, there are many ways to come out but I think the best is face to face. Yes it`s very nerve recking, it`s akward but most of those feelings will pass rather quickly. The way I did it was ``one on one`` with the person I wanted to come out to. I always started by saying said ``Ok, I have something important to tell you``. and BAM. I didn`t beat around the bush lol. Most people had a few comments and questions which I would answer too and that was that. Basically, there no secret or easy way. You just gotta prepare yourself mentally to just do it!
Oh and the reason I don`t like letters is because it leaves more room for akwardness. Where as with the one on one, it`s over after a few hours. With letters it can last for days, not knowing what`s going through the person`s mind. One of my first coming outs was by email to my cousin and when I saw my cousin it was akward and she didn`t talk about it for a long time. So many thoughts were racing though my head but apparently she was fine with it! But the writing a letter and sitting with them sounds like a good idea if your to shy to say it!
me again. I'm getting really annyoed at myself. Lately I got a couple of chances to tell people...really good situations: -mum and other person and I were talking about a person who was really supportive and accepting of this potentially gay person, and they were like "how great this person was, that's what I would have done etc"-my mum would really be accepting, I know that and this situatiion showed it again!!... -a friend asked me if i like a guy at the moment... But NO, I find excuses..."I don't want this friend to know first", "it wasn't just my mum and me, tehre was someone else"...etc. WHY do I always do that?? IT IS ANNOYING ME...I just CAN'T tell people...why?? It's not really that I am scared or anything...I mean if they knew, okay. If they then didn't like me, it would be sad but well, you know, I don't really think that would happen. It's jsut that I can't get over myself and jsut TELL...heeeeeelp me xD cheers
Yah it took me awhile to do it to. I missed a lot fo opportunities. But remember you are in control of you actions so you CAN tell them. You just need to tell youself things like ``ok just say it, just do it!`` motivate yourself. The power is in your hands
I can relate Zoeee. My two best friends are straight guys and I've been trying to tell them for a while now. I had the perfect opportunity to tell one of them when he asked me what I thought of a couple girls passing by. I stood there and he said, "Its not a sin to look"(he's christian) I wanted to say "I'm not interested in girls" or something to that weird acward effect, but I just couldn't say anything, and he changed the subject.
yah same with me. she was like "sooo, is there any guy you like at the moment?", and I could have easily said "well, no, but there is this girl..". easy peasy but no, i was rambling on about how i don't like anyone, how the guys in my year are dumb and childish and stuff. silly meeeee...==(
hey i need some advice again. soon i'm going to hang out with one of my friends and i really want to tell her. she'd be the first one to know, but I think she'll be one of the more supportive ones, too (she also happens to be my crush ) but I really don't know how to tell her. i mean i can't just be like "hey uhm i'm gay", in the middle of a conversation, can i? maybe she'll ask if i like someone, then i could probably tell her(about me being gay but not me liking her ^^) so do you have any advise how to get her to talk about the topic or should i just start or if we dont really talk about things like that just be like"hey, gotta tell you something"? it may sound really silly that i ask for advice like that but i really don't know where to start.
Hi there! You could initiate the conversation, by saying "there is something I would like to share with you about me because I value your friendship and I want you to know me" and take it from there. Pick a day, and maybe invite her over to your place or your favorite coffee place. Try to come out to her at a place where you feel the most comfortable, which will make it a bit easier on you. Hope this helps a bit!
