So, I finally feel like I've built up the confidence and information I need to come out to my family, and it's getting to the point where I'm just itching to go through with it. It took me a while to accept this part of myself, and then learn enough about it that I felt I could strongly justify my feelings if confronted. Problem is, just around the time I was feeling comfortable with my identity, my parents retired and are now road-tripping across the country in an RV for the next 3 months. I keep getting strong urges to just call my mom or write her an email explaining everything, but I'm not sure if what's holding me back is fear (well, it's definitely at least part fear) or that it would be indecent or indignantly handled if I come out to them over the phone/email/not in person and (possibly) tarnish their retirement vacation. Is it rude of me to not give them this 3 months? Am I just making excuses because it is still terrifying to come out? Should I just wait and gather my thoughts? I really want to start seeing a gender therapist soon, maybe in the next week or two, and start making real steps towards my transition, but I don't think I should start that until my family knows. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I think that you should tell them. It's not rude or anything, it's just what you should do for you. Your parents may give you some really good advice or support, or they might be confused. If you have the urge to come out, just do it. It may be terrifying, but it will make you feel much more secure.
Regarding the situation of them being on a blissful retirement vacation: I think that if they've been transphobic in the past, that might change things and I would actually suggest waiting until you see them in person, just because (to them) it might make it sound more sincere and responding to their reactions would be easier. If they aren't, then I'm sure the only thing they will feel bad about is not being able to give you a hug right away. Overall, I think you should go for it. Sure, I suppose the "best" way people generally come out is in person, but you definitely don't have to. In addition, coming out through an email could help you organize your thoughts better, and sometimes not being able to see the person can give you more confidence. You are under no pressure to do things a certain way, and if you think now is a good time, then don't hold yourself back. Trust your instinct
