Hey guys. I don't knnow if you guys know this, but I came out to my mom and most of my family a bit ago. Most of the family took it well, Fantasticaly really. Then there was Mom. At first she didn't react, then a week later she told me she "fucking hated it". About two days after that, she told me was was here, and that she was my mom and would always be there. I almost know that she dosen't really believe me, and while I explained that while it might be a phase, this is where/who I am right now, I feel like she thinks I'm faking it or something. I don't believe it's a phase, but I needed something to pacify her. Now I feel like I can't do anything. While I used to be able to make the casual remark here and there, "He's hot" "She's cute" she was always cool because she though it was hormones for a teenager to notice a guy, and that it didn't matter what I said about girls because I was straight. Now I feel like I can't say anything. She's just kinda ignoring my being bi, and she's been making all the comments, and all about the guys. I feel like I have to be asexual whenever I'm around her, and whenever she makes a remark, I just have to shrug and say "I guess" because It's weird for me now. I don't want her to think I lied so I don't say anything about guys, but I don't want to make her mad so I don't say anything about girls. I just don't make any of those kind of remarks. We used to be really close. We still are, but this wasn't what I wanted when I came out. I wanted to get that wall down because I was actively hiding that part of me from her. Now that I've told, I feel like the wall has grown tenfold with cement backing. I just needed to vent. Thanks guys.
I hope the venting helped. Sorry that your mom didn't take it as well as you hoped for, it can be a shock for parents. It might take her some time to fully accept it, but she seems like she cares about you a lot, I don't think that this will have a lasting detrimental effect on your relationship with each other. If you want to make comments on girls, then make comments on girls, the only way she'll get used to it is if she's in a situation where she has to. It's a part of you, ignoring it isn't really an option. Hopefully the wall will be able to come down soon =]
(*hug*) sorry u feel that way! i'm guessing that it's sort of like a defense mechanism thingy? u know...like...ur bi so ur mom's trying to deny it or ignore it. i guess u just need to be strong and just be yourself, and probably she'll take you seriously and accept you as you are, and not denying it...eventually. hope everything goes well, honey, and cheer up!!
I think you need to write down exactly how you feel. You may or may not decide to give it to her,but it might actually help you to feel better. I'm saying this because it's what I did when I came out. I did end up letting my mom read it. She told me it helped her know what I was going through. Just a suggestion. Do it for yourself,if nothing else.
The way I see it, we can't always win even if it means someone you hold dearly (in this case your mom) finds difficulty accepting you. While it may seem right to act asexual around your mother right now, it may actually be a detriment in the long run. You should just behave like you usually do, he's hot she's cute comments and all. By doing so, you are constantly reminding your mom of who you are instead of avoiding it. Avoiding it will only make things worse. And remember, wounds take time to heal. What your mom mught be going through is grief. Give her space to breathe but don't avoid her completely.
