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Calling a non-date a date

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by thebikelady, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. thebikelady

    Regular Member

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    I know it is dumb, and I am just being sensitive about it. My straight friend is one of the ones "in the know" so to speak. Whenever we go off and she gets a phone call, she will tell the other person that she is on a date to try to get off the phone. And tonight when we made plans to go see a movie in a couple of weeks she said "it's a date." I know it is silly that it bugs me as she doesn't mean anything by it. It just does. I'm not dating yet, and I just don't like calling something that isn't a date a date.

    Any suggestions on how to politely address the issue? Maybe I just need to get over it. Sorry this is a bit of a ramble. Long day at work.
     
  2. Shyvin

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    Hey thebikelady, nice to meet you! :slight_smile:

    She doesn't know that it is upsetting you. It sounds to me like she may think of it as a way to soften any awkward air between you two by casually joking. At the same time though it is perfectly understandable how it may bother and upset you.

    I think you should tell her that it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable.

    It is up to you though, and I'm no expert advice giver, just thought I'd share my two cents.
     
    #2 Shyvin, Dec 21, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2008
  3. Cool Beans

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    The next time she does it, you could nicely say something like "but it's not really a date. Maybe it's silly, but I'm just not big on the term date unless it's actually a date, you know?" (Or perhaps you could opt for the term "friend-date" if that makes you less uncomfortable?) Just remember that it's not really a big deal and it isn't worth a big argument. Besides, if she's really a good friend, she won't want to make you feel uncomfortable.