I've come to the conclusion that I am a transgender male. It's quite a relief I must say. I've told two people that I've been thinking about it. Both of them were accepting. Now that I know, I want to be able to tell people, but unfortunately, I can't. My father is a very transphobic man, and it's not an easy subject to talk about with him. I feel like my mom would be a little more accepting than him. The only thing is, I can only do somewhat androgynous things right now. My sister has said she'd help me if something goes wrong, but still. I'm almost 15 and I feel like it's a good age for me to begin changing things. My Dysphoria isn't constantly on my mind but when I get it, it's bad. So my question is, do I tell them or just one parent, and hope for the best? Or do I wait until I'm a little older. I really want this. I always have. But I really don't know what I'll do if they react badly.
First, I think you should do what's best for your safety. Second, if it is safe to come out, what I would do is come out to your mom to test the waters, then with your mom, come out to your dad. Ultimately the decision is yours alone, go with what you feel would be best and even though it's fucking scary to come out, taking steps towards your happiness is what's important. Really hope it goes well (*hug*)
You should start slow first (coming out is usually a big deal), and warm up. Definitely tell them both. Your parents will probably have questions, so be reaaaally educated on the topic. Explain how you started to realize you were trans, and generally build up. I'd recommend telling your mom first, and then bringing your mom with you when you talk with your dad. Again, coming out isn't easy, but I'm sure you can do it. If your dad doesn't accept it or is holding a grudge, you still have your mom and your sis to back you up; and don't be afraid to stand up to him. I've heard though, that changing from FtM or MtF can be expensive, so you might wanna save up for awhile. Good luck out there!
I second that; coming out is a big deal. People act different sometimes after you do. And if you already know your dad's opinions on it, I, PERSONALLY, would wait. But I'm a bit a scaredycat. So. It's always up to you. A history and a little supporting evidence on how you "know" is always a good idea as well. When I told a coworker I was pan he IMMEDIATELY asked if I'd had sex with a man before because he said he wouldn't have ever given me credit for it if I hadn't. (wtf?!) so. It's worth anticipating the questions if you CAN. It might be best to tell your sis first and then hold off on telling anyone else if you don't feel safe. Your mother might not take kindly to hiding that from your dad. So. That's a thought. But if you feel safe then by ALL means prepare yourself and let them know. Honesty is the best policy in my mind.
