At first I was told life was good. My parents were married I had two older sisters and we lived in a nice house which I grew up in and had many friends In the area. Life changed a lot around third grade, my mom was dating a new man and eventually they got married (after the divorce with my dad). The crucial part of this was having to move from my only 2 best friends and loving school. The reason we moved was for space for his two sons which I now call step brothers. However before all that I lived with mostly with my mom and two older sisters, that I believe contributed to my sexuality hearing this & that about boys and eventually I liked them. After they were married my stepdad was a total snob controlling every move in the house resorting to me not talking to him at all, neither my stepbrothers (or anyone that has anything nice to say about him, except for family). Now that I know my stepdad more I know that he and relatives of his are really homophobic and democratic (maybe he's the only mean democrat idk). After this I was killed, all my plans for telling anyone I was gay were slaughtered. Recently my life is without meaning not talking to anyone or leaving the house except for school I have not made any new best friends trustworthy of telling. I came here to see if I should be more friendly to find someone to tell this year at school or hold out longer and let my life recoup. And yes I know "wait for the right moment you will know" but right now I genuinely need support. Thanks -Gamer :icon_sad: P.S you can ask any questions
Coming out should be something not done out of haste, so if you haven't found anyone trustworthy, it's probably best to keep it to yourself. Ask yourself: How would the situation with my family be if I came out? Would your step-dad get violent? Would your safety or shelter be compromised? Is your mom and biological family lgbt-accepting/could they act as a deterrent from the homophobia of your step-family? What about your bio dad or other relatives? Any way you could move to a friendlier enviroment?
Gamer4now you say you have a friend you can trust in telling you are Gay. Maybe you could tell this person so that you have someone in your social group that will understand your situation. You may also somewhere along the line on a personal level talk with your mother, she may be more understanding than you think.
thanks for the help and i agree to not do it out of haste, but more for relief and atleast try to be accepted. Especially since i don't have anyone to talk to and haven't met another lgbtq+ to talk to. I'm sure some of you know how this feels and I'll most likely get through this but i appreciate it -Andrew
Dear gamer. Is there a counselor at school or do you know an adult who is open minded that you trust that you can talk with? Is there a local community group for lgbtq youth that you can get in touch with that can offer you a safe person to talk with and other resources. I agree that you need a strong support system before coming out so that you have love and support through the process. Also if you are in a process of healing, focus on that and then the out thing can follow. Its not a sprint, its a marathon to happiness. You are not alone, we have all walked in your shoes ands send you cheer and strength. It does get better, so much better, so hang in there.
I understand what you're saying however the age i am right now i can't anonymously sign up for something to go to without being outed. As well as school counselors since most of them are obligated to tell your parents if your problem is big and emotional (which it is). So i'll try to stay strong and heal but I've never met another lgbtq person in my life. Coming out will be hard and dealing with criticism too, so i guess i'm not ready for that yet so i'll wait for that better support system. This helped a lot knowing some one else has been there so thanks. (You can call me Andrew)
You probably have met a lot of lgbtq people in your life; you just don't know which ones they are, just like they don't know about you. Be patient, you have plenty of time to come out publicly, and since you have already come out to yourself, the hardest first step, you are on your way already.
