Hello, everyone. I appreciate the opportunity to tell a little bit of my story and to get some feedback. I was probably in my late teens when I realized that I am capable of being, at the very least, romantically attracted to men. So that was a good 12-to-13 years ago. It was only around two years ago when I decided to tell someone. At the time I was dealing with a serious illness, and I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me, so I figured I might as well let go of some secrets. I tearfully told my mother that I am bisexual to which she insisted that it was "just a phase." I came out to my stepmom, who was accepting of my same-sex attraction, but on the advice of her best friend, who is gay, she insisted that I must be gay. According to her friend bisexual people don't really exist, they are really gay but somehow also "want to f--- everyone." I still haven't worked the logic out on that one. Lastly I made friends with an older gay gentleman who refused to believe that bisexual people exist, and was adamant that all bisexual identifying men are actually gay. He was also quite transphobic, which doesn't affect me directly but I found it objectionable nonetheless. The rest of my very, very Southern family are so virulently homophobic that I am legitimately afraid they would do me bodily harm if they found out about me, which is one reason I don't talk to most of them these days. The only person I have in my life who knows about my sexuality and accepts me is my mentor at the college I attend. She is one of the best people I know, and she happens to be a lesbian. She is helping me work toward becoming a professor myself so that I might gain more independence and autonomy from my family. Unfortunately, though my health is better than it has been in many years, I'm still recovering and I have to rely on my relatives to a certain extent for a while longer. I do apologize for the length of this post. I applaud anyone who has made it this far. Having just turned 30, there are years of thoughts and emotions I'd been repressing that are just now making their way to the surface.
People believe what they want to believe, for their own reasons. You exist. Other people can debate your existence, but you know that you exist.
I am the son of a sharecropper from the deep south so I sympathize with your situation. I kept my homophobia to myself until I turned 30 and could go no further. Maybe that's when the clock runs out for people like us. Anyway, one thing I did discover is there really isn't any such thing as "coming out" with a capital "C" for people in complicated situations. Not as a singular event anyway. It can be very complex with lots of twists and layered like an onion. Once you realize you can control the environment you choose to come out in, it makes things a lot easier. I will say one thing about bisexuality. Thinking bisexuals just want to f*** everyone is obviously naive but there is logic in the concept and you have to give them credit for at least thinking objectively about it. Most bisexuals, myself included, fall in love in the normal way. When I've been with a guy I was gay. When I've been with a woman I was straight. When I was alone and not with anyone I was bi. Being bi is the "potential" of being with either sex not the "experience" of being with both sexes, as in, at the same time.
Some people are attracted sexually to both some men and some women. That is all that bisexuality is. Pretty simple. It is surprising that some people can't grasp the concept, but half the people in the world are below average in intelligence, by definition. Why anyone can get excited enough about the topic to be all homophobic and outraged is a mystery.
