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Am I just doing this to myself or is there really a point to all of this?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Gentlady, Jul 29, 2015.

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  1. Gentlady

    Gentlady
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Helsinki, Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    As my profile says, I'm a female genderqueer who prefers male pronouns. Nothing about me suggests I wouldn't be 100% female. I look, sound and dress feminine and am happy that way. It's the male pronouns that make me feel comfortable. Now, this is a problem for me because in Finnish, my native language, there are no gender-differentiating pronouns. There is just one word for he/she. I could go through yet another year of school just being like everyone else or I could march up to my English, German and Swedish teachers and ask them to use the correct pronouns when referring to me. That would result in other students asking questions, thinking I'm weird and possibly even picking on me(there's not a lot of bullying but their hurtful words are all the more hurtful).

    But this is the year I have promised myself to be honest about who I am. I will no longer try to hide scars. I will no longer keep my bisexuality a secret. So why should I be quiet about the preferred pronouns? I am prepared for the questions. I am prepared to say "I know I am different, but my friends don't seem to mind." I am ready for it.

    My question is....
    Since in my language there are only gender-neutral pronouns...
    Is it worth it?

    ---------- Post added 30th Jul 2015 at 03:32 AM ----------

    Adding that the only people I can't break the news to by myself are my family members. Everyone else I can deal with.
     
    #1 Gentlady, Jul 29, 2015
  2. Gentlady

    Gentlady
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Helsinki, Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    :help:
     
    #2 Gentlady, Jul 29, 2015
  3. Gamer4now

    Gamer4now
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    Location:
    Georgia (USA)
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    This will be a hard journey but its for your own benefit and being true to yourself is really important when it comes to being lgbtq with the mean insults of "gay" or "lesbian" (and bi just couldn't think of word used negatively) that mean stuff to us but wouldn't to a straight person as much. I agree that you should tell your teachers the correct term and the sooner you except yourself and say "I am bisexual and proud of it" then everyone else will too. I hoped this helped -Gamer/Andrew
     
    #3 Gamer4now, Jul 29, 2015
  4. Gentlady

    Gentlady
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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm just unsure whether it's worth the trouble to ask them to call me differently. It would only be used during those classes and it would make people bother me outside of school. I'm not afraid of it but I want to be sure if it's worth the trouble.
     
    #4 Gentlady, Jul 29, 2015
  5. Gamer4now

    Gamer4now
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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    This all depends are you going to be with teachers calling you the wrong term for a long time with it constantly bothering you? If so I think it's worth but I'm used to being made fun of and or bothered
     
    #5 Gamer4now, Jul 29, 2015
  6. Gentlady

    Gentlady
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    Location:
    Helsinki, Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I wouldn't say I'm used to it but I'm ready for it.
     
    #6 Gentlady, Jul 30, 2015
  7. Gentlady

    Gentlady
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Helsinki, Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Anyone else have an opinion? :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Gentlady, Jul 30, 2015
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