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My Crush ... Who I Hate =S

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rocking23, Dec 22, 2008.

  1. rocking23

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    Here's the back story.
    I have a massive crush on my now ex-friend "C." He and I had gotten into 2 "tiffs" but managed to get past them. Then this past weekend, we got in to the end-all-be-all. Basically he blamed me for the fact his relationship ended with his now ex-girlfriend. I see his blame coming from the fact that I had spoken about him with his ex and their current rough patch for 30min on the phone the night before they broke up.

    He sent me a Facebook Message saying "I'm going to murder you the next time I see you." From this I assumed he found out that I spoke with his ex "H."

    Basically I knew our friendship was over then. We then had an e-fight, which I wont talk about.

    So here's the jist of things..

    Our Friendship is over and there is a 90% chance of us not fixing it. Honestly I see no problem, considering his FB message and his violent past.

    But one thing I don't like is that I still have this huge crush on him. He is also one of the few people at school I am out to. He could start outing me to people. But honestly I don't care if he does, if he and those he outs me to start gay bashing me, its fine, I have a large support at school. My best guy-friend and my best girl-friend are on my side. She (my best girl-friend) even said "if he does, we'll bitch him out."

    So here's my dilemma:
    I hate him but have a crush on him.
    He starts outing me and gay-bashing me.

    What's your take on this and what do you recommended.?
     
  2. darkestknight

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    Sorry to hear that. I have such similar experiences but it's isn't that too serious.

    Maybe, you should get over it. I mean, ignore him. Though it's hard, but I'm sure you can busy your way out by doing stuff like gym and others. :slight_smile:
     
  3. george678

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    I know I have had it before if he starts gay bashing tell him to grow up and with the crush you need to get over it.:frowning2:
     
  4. Trumpetplyer23

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    That's really messed up dude. I'm sorry.

    Here's how to get over your crush (well, the method I use anyways). He's a major dickhead right? Focus on that, forgetting about how good he looks or how nice he is. If you find yourself saying, 'he's really hot'. Stop and think, 'wait, he said he was going to kick my ass. Man, I don't want that kind of relationship, friendship or not.' Look at other guys, I'm not saying develop a major crush on the other guys, but if you see a hot guy, well, look at him and don't compare him to your crush. Just indulge in his hotness.

    As for him gay bashing you, you said you had a great support system, right? That's a good thing to have. Second, depending on where you live, most people have a reaction like, 'dude, that's immature, why do that?' And ignore him and his attempts to gay bash you. Granted there might be people that join in, but they're just as immature as him, right? Third, if your school has a zero toleration policy for harrassment of any kind, you can report him to the office. You don't even have to tell them you're actually gay. Just say something like, "he's harrasing me, calling me names like 'fag' or 'queer'. I don't like it". If the school isn't tolerant of harrassment, they'll take care of it.
     
  5. summersforecast

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    I'm going through something similar. I'm pretty sure one of my best friends knows I'm gay and he's been treating me the way I expected to be treated once I'm out of the closet and i hate him for hating me but I still have a crush on him. but the real problem is he's mainly a nice person just homophobic and a little ignorant.