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I don't want to hide anymore

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mackenziesun, Jul 30, 2015.

  1. Mackenziesun

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    The majority of my life I have been lying about both my sexuality and my gender. I didn't want to hide but it just kind of happened.
    Okay so my family is fairly accepting but it seems they aren't accepting of the things I feel comfortable with. Just my luck. I have attempted to come out but it has never worked. I showed my mom someone who identified as pansexual and told her about it hoping to get a positive reaction and then finding a way to come out knowing id have her support. The only reaction I got was "honey that's just a fancy word for being a slut" pretty much stabbed me in the heart. I really felt uncomfortable about coming out to her with my sexuality so I never did. I kept quiet and left it at that.
    That happened a couple years back and recently I found out her boyfriend(practically a step-dad at this point) is super transphobic. I started talking about Cait Jenner and how I thought it was amazing that someone who is so well known is becoming a trans icon. My moms boyfriend refused to call her by her preferred pronouns, calling her Bruce, and defended himself by saying "he's been a guy for how many years?". I tried to correct him and told him Cait has been a woman for much much longer she has just been hiding but he refused to listen and ended it at that. My mom didn't stand up for what's right even when she was sitting right next to him.
    That whole thing left me crying on the phone to my friend because I knew I wouldn't be able to come out and even if I did my pronouns wouldn't be respected and I wouldn't be acknowledged. I really do want to come out I'm just scared that my family wouldn't accept me for who I am. I feel like they would rather have me living a lie and hiding. It's not like I need them to pay for transitioning I have that covered pretty much but I just want to be accepted. I don't know learning all this about them has been stressful and frustrating. ://