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I dont know if I can handle it anymore

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Shyvin, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. Shyvin

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    I'm twenty-three years old and stuck, I'm so depressed that I'm doing anything to secure my future. I have no motivation. Everything about me is starting to wither away. I'm always on the verge of crying, I feel like I have a massive hole the size of Texas at the core of my soul. I really do. I'm not acting like it is there....it is and I can't handle it anymore. Everyone around me seems to be getting along for the better but me, I'm just static. I don't have a job, or an income. I'm just barely alive.

    I'm constantly thinking about cancer, as I've had it once before, and I'm so frightened that it will one day come back and claim me.

    I'm seriously in a bad place right now.
     
  2. lordjord96

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    hang in there man you can do it.
     
  3. summersforecast

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    You need to concentrate on all the good things this world has to offer love, friendship, and most importantly happiness. Think about all you'd be missing out on if you give up now. Remember you only have only life in which to be happy and you can't spend it moaping because it will only fly by faster. Think of all the people who care about you, friends, and family you can't aford to lose these cause sometimes they're all you've got, and in the same way they can't afford to lose you so you can't give up on them, or on life. Theres so much more out there in the world then pain so take the good with the bad and whatever you do keep tring:icon_wink
     
  4. aslan

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    Excercise! this can do loads to fight depression. It releases endorphines which make you feel good. It can also boost your self confidence. Getting into a sport will also help your social life and give you motivation and something to aim for. Getting fit and healthy will also reduce the chance of getting cancer again. I know sport isn't for everyone; it can be a matter of trying different things. It is amazing how doing one small thing can affect the rest of your life trust me I know.

    Try finding one small thing you dont like about your life and change it.
     
  5. Shaylyn

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    *Hugs* You may not be able to handle it by yourself right now, but you have help from everyone here. Try to break the stagnancy. Sometimes all we need is a busy mind to start to feel better.

    Everyone moves at a different pace through life...others will move at theirs, you'll move at yours. Don't give up.
     
  6. Mirko

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    Hi there. I am sorry that you are feeling this way. (*hug*)

    Try not to dwell on the things that are not going very well for you. Try to concentrate on the positives in your life. Some of the things that cause you to feel down, you can change. For example, try your best at finding a job, to get some income. Maybe try not to set your sights too high at first and see if something comes up. Use that as a spring board for something better.

    Try getting together with your friends. Try being around people as much as possible. Reconnect with the things that you like doing and have given you motivation in the past. To regain your motivation, maybe set yourself a couple of goals, and try to pursue them every day and as best as you can. As you are fulfilling your goals, your motivation will come back slowly. This will also help you to move forward in your life. Yes, it will take a bit of time, but you will get there.

    Given that you had cancer, it is natural to fear that it will come back. It is a life altering experience, but knowing that you had it you can use it in a positive way. What I mean here is, try to do things that make you feel better about yourself. Rather than fearing it, use it to change your life for the better.

    Sometimes, if we feel that we are on the verge of crying, it is better just to let go and let it all out of our system. Once it is all out, we can start changing things. You are trying to overcome a lot of things and emotions.

    Also, see a counselor/therapist. After your cancer treatments did you have a chance to see a counselor at the cancer clinic? Maybe you could go back and make an appointment with a counselor there. Also, there are support groups. Maybe try joining one of those. Talking with others who had the same cancer might give you some insights as to how they have copped and are copping with it.

    You don't have to stay long in this bad place. You can do things to change the situation in which you are in. Try to take it one day at a time. I hope this helps. (*hug*)
     
  7. Shyvin

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    Thanks everyone, for all the kind words.

    When I say I live in the worst place for my orientation it might be an exaggeration, well it most definitely is, but it isn't great. The closest PFLAG center is 2 hours away. That is so sad for several reasons. My city isn't particularly small. We should have places here but everything is stagnant. There are no groups at any of the college campuses or even counselors/therapists I can talk to.....
     
  8. Mirko

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    It is too bad that there isn't a PFLAG chapter or a support group closer to you. But maybe what you could do (and that is only if you feel comfortable) you could call the PFLAG chapter and ask if they could put you into contact with someone that lives in your city. Maybe there are a couple of people that are meeting or get together from time to time.

    Try to talk with your friends, talk with us. Hopefully this will help you a little bit to overcome some of the issues that you are dealing with.
     
  9. Lexington

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    Hey there. I'm not sure I can give the best advice here, since I'm not entirely sure of your situation - where you are, what you're doing, where you hope to be heading. I have a feeling you'd rather not divulge much info here, which is fine. I'll just give some rather generic advice here, and if you'd like, feel free to send me a PM (click on my name to the left there, and select "send a private message"), and we can discuss things one-on-one.

    The situation you lay out sounds like you MAY be you're suffering from depression. I went through a depressive period when I was roughly your age (24), and the symptoms sound familiar. Emptiness, feeling like crying, and (in my case) an obsessive fear of the future and what it might hold. The term I used to describe my feelings was "despair". Just an utter feeling of hopelessness. I found that the usual stuff that would lift my spirits failed me, which just added to the feeling. It was a tough time.

    I got through that period. Without medication, as it turns out, and without much in the way of psychiatric help, either. I don't say that proudly, though. I simply was too poor (and too clueless) to really do anything on that front. Having since made it through a round of depression with the aid of anti-depressants, I can readily say I wish I had had access to them the first time around. (The meds I took were quite mild, very few side effects, and fairly easy to wean myself off of - I wasn't a "pilled-out zombie".)

    First things first. Go see your doctor. Let him know what you're going through. Just say, "I'm dealing with all this stuff, and I'd like to rule out anything physical." Because if it IS a physical thing, the best thing to do is attack it as such.

    What do you do in the interim? Accept it. Accept that this crappy period is happening to you. Let other people know. You don't have to go into detail if you'd rather not. But feel free to say, "I've been kind of depressed as of late. It's something I'm trying to work through." And do find people to talk to. Do a Google search and see if there is a low/no-cost therapist in your area. (There may be.) Feel free to lean on friends and family members around this time. They may not be able to offer much other than an open ear, but sometimes, that's all that's necessary. And do make use of us here. Yeah, it may not be exactly the same, but we're better than nothing. (I'd like to think, anyway. :slight_smile: ) Feel free to unload on us at anytime.

    Lex
     
  10. skydrone

    skydrone Guest

    yeah, think positive! :wink: