How do I know??

I guess if he seems to act weird whenever romantic subjects are broached, that's a possible sign that he may be having some issues with his sexuality. For example, if he stays silent or gives unusually vague answers in a group situation when the group is talking about dating. Also, if you notice that he just seems really preoccupied with something but he gives no indication of what it is, it's possible. But none of that is actually definitive proof of anything, so just remember that while you may think something is going on with that, it's entirely possible that there's nothing going on with it at all.

 

There are no for sure tell-tale signs. The only thing you can do is ask him directly, which usually isn't a good move. You CANNOT tell any other way. If he doesn't know you're gay, that would be a good place to start. He may be gay and wondering the same thing about you. OR he may be straight, and shocked that you asked. If you're really close friends you can try talking to him about it, but there's no way of knowing how he'll react.

 

This is a very sticky situation. I see 4 different scenarios which can play out if you come out to him and tell him your feelings.

He's Gay/Bi and also interested in you.

He's Gay/Bi and not interested in you.

He's straight but hes cool with you even if he knows your gay and your crushing on him.

He's straight and he starts hating you for being gay.

Which one will it be? You'll get your answer when you tell him. That is if you do wanna tell him.

 

you could ask face to face...it's really hard to know if someone is gay/bi or whatever in highschool b/c of peer pressure and stuff. also 15 is still too young to really know who you are, unless u really do know it by ur heart...
idk there's this guy in my school too whom i'm suspicious of being at least bi, but i wouldn't know for sure lol

 

I wouldn't bother.
You just want to believe so you see things that have no relevance.
Just leave it, or just ask him.

This happens to everone, so I'm not just being mean.

We all wish our crushes were gay also, it's just in our head when we see things others don't.

 

lol i used to be like that, but i no longer do that cuz i learned that like 99.9% they're not gay lol i don't even care anymore

 

the last :lol:

 

I'd steer clear of this one. It's nice that you'd want to help him with something that he may be struggling with, but keep in mind - you've got an ulterior motive here. You don't just want him to be happy - you want him to be gay, so you'll have a shot at him. In cases like this, it's best to NOT trust your instincts.

Does he know YOU'RE gay?

Lex

 

oh yeah, i had the situation once. He has his first girlfriend now and i really thought that he was gay, but idk, we dated and something and we really are confused at that time we never really talked about having relationship between two guys. were just doing it except for the bed thing but it just between the two of us. were totally different persons when were at school like nothing happened we never talked and we always fight coz i always piss him off haha. but every weekend i asked him to movies and he always agrees.

 

You could try to ask him if something is bothering him? Not asking straight out: Hey, are you struggling with your sexuality? Just let him know that you notice something is up, and if he ever wants to talk, you'll always be there to accept him and hear him.

I'd be careful with this one. I've had the same thing happen to me. Asking someone about their sexuality is not something easily done. They could get offended, and that still wouldn't answer your question. It's safer to just put your self out there, and wait for him to come to you, if he does.

Best of luck. <3

 

>>>But still if its not that what he's hidding(and he definetly is hidding something) then what else could it be? I mean from my perspective he's got a perfect life, great body, jock status, loving family, lots of great friends, incredible grades, the only thing I could see "ruining" his perfect life is his own sexuality.

Well, a younger friend of mine sounds like she was in roughly the same boat at his age. Great grades, a loving family, lots of friends, popular, attractive, on several sports teams, excelling at everything. Not long afterwards, she was arrested (for a minor charge). Why? Because she was rebelling. She hated, HATED being perfect. She felt an enormous pressure to always succeed, something which she still has to fight off from time to time.

I'm not saying that's what's happening with your friend here. I just use it as an example that just because things look perfect from the outside, doesn't mean they necessarily are. We all have our own demons to battle.

Lex

 

If you really want to find out, I'd just ask him whether there's anything you could help him with. If the both of you are such great friends he should be okay with pouring himself out to you. If not then you should just steer clear of it because that probably just means that it's so bad that he doesn't even want to tell a good friend.

Basically, what I'm saying is that you should always be there to help, but not to expect things. I know that you're hoping for something but just prepare yourself for disappointment, because it could be so many other things.

 

well my gaydar is completely fritzed
i swear i got in an argument over homosexuality with someone, and I was the only person that didn't realize she was a lesbian to begin with! :dry:

But regardless...he's one of your best friends. The most important thing is not whether or not he is gay but why he is struggling. I would suggest just be a supportive empathetic friend. (though he might be someone you would want to come out to)

 

Well this is something I think I also have a problem with.
This guy is like seeming straight but then he seems gay..
There is no possible way to tell for SURE, unless he just told you or saw him with a guy kissing or something lol.
What I did is just ignore it. I mean you MAY want to help inside, but actually, if he finds out your gay by helping him, he might stay clear away from you if he is scared or offended by gays.. I mean it's better to leave him alone about his sexuality until he is sure about it first! GOD DAM!! I wish we could tell for sure because I would be going up to 10-20 different guys to see if they were bi or gay :'(
Zack