I have Indian parents and for some reason I thought they were fairly liberal and it would all go fine. I'm in the process of learning how to drive, so my dad was teaching me how to parallel park. I just told him I needed to tell him something, then said I was bisexual. He goes, "I think you're watching all these youtube videos and trying to explore something...you're acquiring all this stuff," then later he goes, "I just don't know what to say," and then, "I don't know anyone in our family that's this way, so I don't know where you're getting it from." I don't know what to do. For some reason I just thought they would be like, "ok cool." I started doubting my sexuality around February this year, and while I've been fairly sure about my feelings for different genders for the past few weeks, I didn't put a specific label on in until June (bisexual), and I didn't feel fully confident in that label for the past few days. But I've been spending a lot more time around my family, and while they've always been skeptical about how pro-gay rights I am, they've never said anything to dissuade it. It's always been that kind of thing were they know nothings wrong with being part of the LGBT community but they still have that subconscious feeling that prevents them from supporting it or feeling comfortable with it. And they're ignorant - about LGBT issues, racism, sexism, religious discrimination, you name it. And when I try to educate them, they act like those issues don't matter. They went as far as telling me to stop telling my sister about LGBT stuff a few months ago because she was too young to know about it (as if it's something inappropriate). I knew all of this and somehow I managed to fool myself into thinking that it would all be fine and they would be completely accepting...and now I don't know what to do. I still have to come out to my sister, my mom, and my aunt, and while I feel like my sister would be fine with it because she's so young, the rest of them have the same kind of subconscious hatred towards gays. I don't even know if my dad is going to tell my mom or not. I'm just feeling so terrible about it all. I know it could have gone a lot worse - my dad could have outright said I wasn't allowed to be attracted to anyone but men, or he could have disowned me, kicked me out, etc. But I just wasn't prepared for his reaction...I should have prepared for worse possible scenario but instead I prepared for best and now I'm just so lost as to what to do. My best friend is on the other side of the world on vacation, and I honestly just don't know who else to talk to. I'm probably just going to go to bed and hope it all fixes itself in the morning. This sucks
I'm sorry to hear that. Lots of peoples parents these days come from a generation where that sort of thing was kept hidden or not very widely talked about. The chances are your dad simply doesn't understand it because he is straight so hasn't had to deal with what you're feeling. He may talk to your mom about it, but I wouldn't worry. He'll need time to process it and in the mean time, prepare yourself to answer any questions they might have. Be confident and stick to your position, he has already suggested that he "doesn't know where you get it from", you don't have to get it from anywhere and he needs to understand that in time. You'll be fine, just don't let it become an argument, a discussion is what is needed keep your spirits up and remember that your parents love you and with some understanding will come to support you.
I'm sorry that it didn't go as you'd hoped, but don't assume it's your Dad's final word on the matter. It may feel like he will never change his attitude, but I can assure you that many parents do change, given a bit of time. Why? Because no decent parent wants to have a strained or broken relationship with their kids. Very few parents react to a son/daughter's coming out without flinching, because it's often a shock to them, and when people are shocked they react in the heat of the moment. Coming down from that position is not a simple process for them, because they have to go through their own stages of grief and acceptance - read about it: Empty Closets - Parent and Family Stages of Grief I'm not entirely sure where you are in the world, but organisations like PFLAG or FFLAG (UK) are invaluable in helping and supporting the parents and families of LGBT people. Check out their websites and leave the information for your Dad. You can't force him to read their resources or make contact, but if the information is available to him he has a choice. Try not to get upset or angry with your Dad, because he may take that as a sign that you are unhappy with your sexual orientation. Many parents think of our sexuality as a phase that will pass (because society tells them so) and that's why they dig their heels in sometimes. If you maintain your position and behave with dignity it will demonstrate to him that you are not unhappy or wavering and he will be more likely to come round. Give it time and don't lose hope.
