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Would it be a bad idea to come out now.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by hatRednotBluE, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. hatRednotBluE

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    First off I know I'm pretty young (almost 14) but I'm very mature for my age.
    I've known since I was 9 or 10 that I liked boys more than girls, and I've fought with it for a really long time, but I'm starting to come to terms with it.
    I haven't told anyone I know IRL about it, but I really want to. I feel like I'm betraying myself by not doing it, but I know kids in school are going to give me lots of crap.

    So from experience, is it worth it to come out at my age?
     
  2. biisme

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    Well, your status say that you're not sure and you're trying to figure it out...therefore, I think that if you DO come out, you shouldn't label yourself. Tell the whole truth and say that you have feelings for guys and you're trying to sort through it and you believe there's a strong possibility that you're gay or bi (if that's what you believe). Howeve,r if you're not quite sure, don't shackle yourself to one definition, because if you change your mind it will make people harder to accept you again.
     
  3. gaius

    gaius Guest

    mate ive been struggling with this for years and ive only just found the confidence to tell a couple of very close friends, my advice would be if u know someone who you trust not to tell anybody then having someone who knows is a massive relie, my only bit of advice would be to consider very carefuly who you would tell before doing it, although in all fairness i had a good idea already of someone to tell
     
  4. AzThRg0

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    Our opinion really doesn't matter. Its up to you in the end. you know your situation better then any of us and you can guess at peoples reactions better then any of us
    that being said I'd also advise you not rush it and really think things through before you come out. Rushing it is a bad thing and parents have a habit of saying "oh its just a phase, you'll grow out of it" when people your age come out. And if you think kids are gonna give you crap maybe coming out to everyone isn't the best idea at the moment.
    Although again, its fully up to you about when you should come out
     
  5. Greggers

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    It depends what its doing to your life. I hid my sexuality all through highschool myself. If i had have come out before that, it would have been horrible. Being closeted when you are young and going through high-school isnt always a bad thing, as long as it is not controlling your life. If it starts to affect you in negative ways, its best to tell someone. You dont even have to come out to everyone, just someone. If your in an accepting environment with people you know will support you, it cant hurt to come out. If your in an ignorant environment and you dont know how people will re-act, you might want to keep it closeted (for now).

    So yea, just like everyone else is saying its your choice and it depends on your situation. There is no booklet you can read telling you when you should and should not come out, its different for us all. Whatever you do, make sure you have thought it over and have a plan in place for whats to come next. Good luck! :slight_smile:
     
  6. Starshine16

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    Like others have said it is entirely up to you when you feel ready to come out.That said I would caution you against coming out until you are sure of what you are.If you were to come out and say that you were bi and then a few years down the line you realize that you are actually gay,that would require two coming outs and that could be more tramuatic for you,your family and friends.At your age the chances of your parents saying that it is just a phase is pretty high especially when you aren't sure what your sexual orientation is.

    Like others have said.Don't rush the decision.However you do what you feel is best for you and your loved ones.
     
  7. george678

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    You could be going through a prase but I doubt it!
    I am out to my friend 13 again almost 14 because I hang around with mature people like you they should accept you for who you are if they dont then I suggest maybe you find a new set of friends...but at the end of the day you will get some people who dont like it...
    Now I dont think telling your parents now is a good idea maybe this time next year...
    You might of worked yourself out more by then.
    Glad to help
    George
    (*hug*)
     
  8. Lexington

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    I don't see any harm in waiting a bit. You might know your own mind, but chances are good that many will see your coming out as "premature". "Oh, you know how kids are - give him a year, and he'll change his mind." And what good's coming out if nobody will really believe it? :slight_smile:

    Just keep your options open. Don't feel you have to lie about any of it (other than for reasons of your own safety). Feel free to say, "I'm sort of more interested in guys than girls right now." Because that's true, and it doesn't set a precedent for what might happen in the future.

    Lex
     
  9. riddlerno1

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    It might be best if you feel ready to tell a really close friend; someone you can trust to not go and gossip. There is no right and wrong to these things but you have to be careful about who you choose to confide in. Plus there is no need to label yourself if you are not sure.