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Scrooged

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Pendrin2020, Dec 24, 2008.

  1. Pendrin2020

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    CRAP I HEAR BANJOS!!! Nashville
    In the days leading up to this complete waste of 48 hours where the whole world seems to shut down and the true nature of my family's dysfunction comes to light, I have been indeed dreading the the upcoming days and trying to find some way to bypass all of it.

    It's not an anti-religion thing, It's not an anti-commercialism thing. I'm just fed up with the pushy assholes behind you at the registers, the constant whining about how the sales aren't really sales, and finally, I'm just fed up watching my family dance around eachother's insecurities trying to avoid an explosion.

    I'm just burned out on how fake it's starting to get.

    I'm going to take this as my opportunity to unveil my radical new lobbyist group. We will be calling ourselves the "Fuck Christmas Like Brad Pitt Hog-Tied to My couch, Until He's Confused about Whether He's in a Dream or a Strange Episode of the Twilight Zone... Coalition."

    Join Now. Or be eaten Alive by scary old women at the macy's make-up counter.

    The Choice is yours.
     
  2. Nitro

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    Hmm ... could I just get Brad Pitt hog-tied to my couch for christmas? :lol:

    On a more serious note - the time is, to some extent, what you make of it. As an alternative to the old standby "Duck and Cover" I submit the "Get the hell out of the way of an incoming storm by leading a fun expedition with a group of people you can tolerate" approach. Have younger siblings/nieces/nephews/etc.? Take them to the pool. You can be a hero and get a brief reprieve from tap dancing.

    What a coincidence - a bunch of friendly old ladies are gathering by my door. They must be senile as the are all salivating and sharpening their dentures. I guess I should help them across the street.