Hey, everyone. So I was in a long-term relationship with a guy for about three years, the entire time we were in college. In this relationship, I expressed my attraction to women, but was always sort of dismissed as though it were nothing, so I just kept all my emotions about that to myself and continued identifying as straight. I broke up with him about three months ago, for many reasons, but a big one was that I wanted some time to think about my sexuality. Since we broke up, I've sort of accepted that I'm fairly certain I'm bisexual (though I have been accused of mislabeling myself because I'm not only attracted to the binary genders). I've been gradually trying to "come out" to my friends, and some of them are really supportive, but I'm also meeting a lot of "but you've only ever dated men" kind of things, and I guess that kind of reaction just kind of puts doubt in my mind because I feel sort of old to just now be getting around to accepting this about myself (I'm 21). Does anyone have any advice about confronting these types of reactions? Is this the sort of thing I should just expect to hear? It's honestly just kind of exhausting having to explain myself to people over and over again. Thanks!
Hello, When i came out as gay i had a lot of support and most people were happy for me but i did also receive them questions about not finding the right girl and if i have never experienced it how can i tell for sure? It just comes down to how you feel and what makes you happy if you dont want to explain yourself over and over just don't people should be happy for you. Friends might be concerned but they should still support you anyway and its never too late to fine yourself i was 20 when i came out but only recent (2 years later) felt in a proper place to start dating, its all about time and how you deal with it in your own manner. Hope some of this helps you!
Hey, yah i totally understand that. It is really hard coming out when you have been acting 'straight' a good chunk of your life. Definitely talking it out will help; they need to understand your feelings as well as the fact that you do understand what they are concerned about, but your feelings are no illusion. They are exactly what they are. I think it is best to believe in your heart and to avoid focusing on other people's questions about whether it is true. If it is true, you will know it. They cannot see what exactly is in your heart.
Well... yes, it may be something you have to learn to get used to. Because it will probably keep happening. The best thing you can do is be honest with them, and try not to let your frustration show. They're probably not being deliberately annoying, just honestly ignorant. Easy replies are "But I'd be interested in dating a woman," "I was in denial for a long time," or "It's harder to meet women who are into women." Or you could just not answer. Once you've come out to them, it's up to them to believe you or not. I mean, there could be plenty of reasons why you've only dated men. And you're young. You've got plenty of time to date women.
"Funny how straight people can not date anyone but aren't asked how they know they're straight." I didn't really start questioning until I was 20 and it may have been even longer if I hadn't started dating my girlfriend. Don't let the things other people say determine your sexuality. There may always be questions like this but you don't have to justify your sexuality to anyone. You're young and it's kind of difficult to date women when you're in a relationship with a man throughout college. There's plenty of time.
Hey, check out the "coming out later in life" - there's plenty of people like me that are full generation older than you that are just now figuring this out. 21 is nothing - and anyone who gives you are hard time isn't worth including in your life. You are young, and out, and single - have fun!!! Enjoy this time.
