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Cowardly Coming Out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dantir, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. Dantir

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    Well not necessarily... but a couple of weeks ago I came out to my best friend (who is bi, female) and I've really wanted to tell her for months. I ended up thinking about it at her house and I was sat on her bed (oh, and I find her cover VERY comfy. :grin:) and I was playing with the cover, and I decided to make a tent. I ended up thinking about it more and more (and about my crush, who I'm totally into) and getting depressed a little.

    She sensed something was wrong and I wanted her to do so. She then started guessing what the problem was but she never quite did so. I said I'd "write it out" since I can't say it in person. Still under the covers, she gave me a pen and person and I wrote the letter "G". She then figured it out, and I stayed there for another 10 minutes, very shy and what not.

    She written "Y" at the end, and then ended up filling it in as "GALLOPY" which she found hilarious (she has a very weird sense of humour, too. And a cool lava lamp!!). So we laughed about that and I knew she would accept it.

    What I'm concerned about, is was that a good way to come out? She was the easiest person in the whole world to come out to, and I had to hide to do so. I don't think she minds me doing that, since she knows I'm a shy person anyway.

    Please let me know what you think.
     
  2. Jersey4Life

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    Congratulations on coming out, and welcome! Coming out is very hard to do, and you have to do it in a way that's going to make you comfortable. There was nothing cowardly about the way you came out to her, you should be proud of yourself instead of beating yourself up (*hug*). Hope to see ya around.
     
  3. Lava421

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    Hahaha I think that's very cool and kind of... cute.

    I imagine coming out to accepting people strengthens friendships, and I think this coming out did that much more than the average one. Congrats. :icon_bigg
     
  4. ampthejazz

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    Yeah I think that's pretty cute too. Nothing to be ashamed of.

    Coming out is a hard thing to do. No matter which way you do it, it's admirable.

    Congratulations. :slight_smile:
     
  5. Steam Giant

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    Hello there! Thanks for the story ^^ yes, I think that went okay! It's great that she was able to understand you so well! It's very hard to come out the first time, no matter who it is or how well you know they're going to take it. You'll find that it gets easier with every person you tell!
     
  6. Sam

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    congrats! I think however you wanna come out is great everybody comes out in their own way and time. you should be proud of yourself for having the guts to tell her.
     
  7. joeyconnick

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    I will now tell everyone I am "gallopy!" :lol:

    Seriously, that's the cutest story. Coming out gets way easier the more you do it--I'm sure you won't find it that hard to tell people in 1, 2, 5, 10 years.
     
  8. thommthomm

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    First of all...Welcome to EC and you should never be ashamed of who you are or how to come out! Everyone comes out differently! I'm sure it feels good to now have someone to talk to!! This is a great place to start and we can and will give you the confidence you'll need to come out even more, no matter how you choose to do it the future!!


    ________________________________
    "HAVE FAITH AND THINGS WILL BE ALRIGHT"
     
  9. Paul_UK

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    I think that was great, and really sweet. You came out in a way that worked for you and her, and she is fine with it.

    That's not cowardly at all - that's a result!

    I reckon you two will become closer friends now. I hope so, anyway.
     
  10. Jim1454

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    Welcome to EC. Its great that in the end you could have a laugh about it. It's so important to be able to laugh about yourself and your situation. Not laughing about it isn't nearly as much fun.
     
  11. beckyg

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    What a great story! It was fun, it was something you shared with a great friend, and everything was okay. It was something you'll remember the rest of your life as being a good positive experience. Not cowardly at all!
     
  12. Dantir

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    Lol thanks guys... not sure how it's cute but hey. :grin:

    It's a little comforting to know it wasn't cowardly, but I saw it on par with coming out via letter, e-mail, etc. I find it very hard to say "I am gay" to someone and mean it, I'm sure a lot of people do, but yeah...

    I feel that it may be easier to tell another person this time, but to be honest there's no one I could really tell since nothing would be gained from it apart from the homophobic comments (alongside the 'other' comments, I'm not very liked in my school solely on my appearance and my quietness... darn. :grin:) and rejection on the few friends I have. My best friend has been my best friend for a while, and as said it was because she was bi that I decided to tell her, since she would understand. She starts to weird me out though by getting involved with my attractions and my "relief". :S (smileys won't work somehow... probably because it's javascript and my comp doesn't like it, so I have to rely on the obvious shortcuts. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:)

    Sometimes I'm glad I told her, sometimes I'm not. Somehow her parents seem to know which is really weird, cuz I know she never told them, but they might have overheard, or they can feel the "vibes".

    Thanks for being so welcoming, by the way. ^^

    P.S: I know the shortcut for these, and I find them really cute, so... (!)(!)(!)
     
  13. Phantomblade

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    as far as im conserned i hold the record for most cowardly coming out.
    but seriously you cant be a coward when you come out. its just not the nature of it.