I wish I were out to everybody, but I don't want to have to come out to everybody. I don't not want the drama associated with coming out. Is there a way to avoid this drama? I'm not very stereotypically gay and am rather "straight acting" (whatever that means). I don't want people to be like "HOLY SHIT HES GAY! I NEVER SAW THAT COMING! HOLY SHIT!"
In my case there was a never "Mom/Dad I'm Gay!!!" moment. I just started to go out with guys. And when my parents got wind of it they talked amongst themselves. My dad never never mentioned anything but my mom approached me for a "talk". She said I can be who ever I want to be and do whatever I want to do. And they'd love me the same. After that we never made a big deal of it. They treat me just like my straight siblings. There's no awkwardness around me. With my sexuality I'm not the type to flaunt it or push it unto people's face. It's like don't ask don't tell. People don't ask, and I don't tell them either unless asked. In either case I don't know why I'd need to tell people I was gay. Straight people don't go around saying hey I'm straight.
It's been my experience that once you tell a few people everyone will know. The down side to this is you are part of the rumour mill for a while and you never really know who knows. The plus side is that no one is shocked when you tell them. Also some people you never really have to have the "conversation". If you are going to tell someone you have to be prepared for everyone to know. Then the decision is who you want to tell yourself and have that conversation with and who you will just let hear from others.
I feel the same way. I wish I was open, but without having to tell anyone. I don't understand why we have to basically reveal something very personal to everyone. Why can't it just be accepted that we're all humans and it does not matter. As I am not "out" yet I am not sure on how to come out with out the typical drama. I guess maybe in the end you have to say this is your life and you're the only one that can control the drama. If people want to create drama where there should be none then maybe it's best to do away with the source of the drama. That's my plan when I do decide to "come out".
Change you're "interested in" on Facebook to men and wear a pride bracelet. That's what a friend of mine did at 19 because he didn't want the drama either. To this day he has never come out to anyone, yet everyone knows he's gay.
In my experience if you really stop censoring it out of what you say and do everyone will know and you won't have to have "the discussion." I've been out to pretty much everyone I know for 23 years and literally had "the discussion" with two people, my parents. They were the only people that I thought it would be unfair for them to hear from someone else. I tend to be someone that people assume is straight as well, until it comes up that I'm not--not by telling anyone I'm gay but by telling them what I think or what I did last night. And then people talk, especially if it's clear it's not a secret, not a thing. People are generally surprised when they find out but the most reaction I've ever got was basically "Oh, I didn't realize you were..." In 23 years I've never even had anyone ask me if I was gay--not once, that one I think is a little weird to be honest, but true nonetheless.
