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Regret coming out to parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Hidden Angel, Dec 27, 2008.

  1. Hidden Angel

    Hidden Angel Guest

    I really really regret coming out to my parents and there is so much I want to say to them but I can't even bring it up not after last time. I'm much better at expressing myself on paper then in words so I tried writing everything down to try and make more sense of what is going on in my head. That has helped and I know that I wish I had never come out to them and that I am so sorry I have caused them so much pain and disappointment, but I also I know that the person they want me to be and the person I am and what to be are two very different people and that no matter how much I want to make them happy I can't change who I am because for so long when I was younger I hated myself for who I was because I was so quiet and shy and never spoke up and was never noticed but now that I'm able to voice my opinions and I becoming who I want to be and am happy with it I'm not the person my parents want me to be and I know it hurts them so much and I don't want to be don't' that.

    Normally I would talk to the guidance counselor at school when I'm feeling confused like this it tends to make everything clearer but it is school holidays at the moment and I don't start school again for over another month. I don't have anyone else I an talk to because I am hopeless at trusting people and I won't even talk to my friends about things.
    I feel so lonely and I feel like I'm spinning around in circles with no way out. All I want to do is be happy and have my family be happy for me but it seems to be so imposable.
    I just don't know what to do.
     
    #1 Hidden Angel, Dec 27, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 27, 2008
  2. gaius

    gaius Guest

    Re: Regret comig out to parents

    in all fairness i havent done this myself but it isnt your job to please your parents or to be someone your not, they will realise what a wonderful person you are! it will take time for your parents im sure but eventually they will come around and get used to it, dont let them get you down remember you have lots of friends here on EC you always have someone to talk to, hope you feel better soon, steven x
     
  3. Alexander

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    Re: Regret comig out to parents

    Usually after coming out to parents (and a LOT of others as well), your situation gets worse before it gets better. Just hang in there :]
     
  4. Mickey

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    Re: Regret comig out to parents

    How about giving your parents a copy of what you wrote down?
    It's exactly how you feel and maybe it will help some.
    Many people go through this ,when they come out. I know how much it sucks.
    As time goes on and they see that nothing changes ( in who you are ), they will have to accept you.
    When you're young, parents are more inclined to think it's a phase or that you really don't know how you feel.
    You know that they're wrong and in time,I think they will know this,too.
    In the meantime,get some PFLAG material and possibly let them see the paper you wrote. It may help you help them.
    This is all just a suggestion. You have to do what you think is right.
    Good luck. Remember,time is on your side. The older you are,the more they will see that this is just who you are,and this is who you'll always be.