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Culture shock or gay

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by thecityofbikes, Aug 12, 2015.

  1. thecityofbikes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
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    Location:
    British Columbia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I've recently moved country, from a conservatively religious country to Canada. Growing up I was definitely attracted to girls, if only physicaly - in a religious society I didn't get many opportunities to actually talk to girls or 'go out', as many people do here in Canada from a young age. Because of this, I find it hard to connect with anybody- I can't have a conversation about music or trade stories of drunken stupidness. Since realising this Ive been very antisocial.

    I have had flings with some women, but i only got hard with one- my first kiss and only romance before moving to canada. Sometimes when i get high i have gay fantasies, and although i find women beautiful i rarely fantasise about them in the same way, which I did a lot before moving to canada. I havent told anyone about my feelings as I hadn't even considered being gay before I came here. Although I might be gay I'm slightly homophobic.

    Often in my male friendships I would try to emulate something that I admired in them...and in the west it seems that the only thing that men want to be admired for is the ability to get with women. But really, every guy here does that. They all have/want the big truck, shades and drink profusely. Variations of this image seem to be all people talk about and see in the media, so much so that conformity to this image outweighs the value of liberty to not give a crap about it. If they all want to be 'that guy' (but obviously not everyone is), they worship that image even more than gays...then why does it feel like there is such a negative stigma?

    Am I gay or just in culture shock?