Is there even such a thing as the "best time" to come out? Whether it's about gender or sexuality. What I'm wondering is how do you know when the time is right? When you mentally, emotionally, physically cannot take the stress of hiding anymore (or is that too far)? When things in your life are smooth sailing (so the news can shatter the calm)? When it is some theoretically "most logical" ideal sort of time? Or do you just do it? Sooner or later? Younger or older? Should you jump the gun right when you find out, or wait for formulate the perfect response? It's a lot of questions, I know. Just wondering what you all think concerning timing of coming out. When did you come out (if you have)? I feel like I'm waiting for something... Some "sign" to let me know it's time. I have the letter, I know it's unavoidable. I'm sick of hiding. But I'm also scared shitless. The thought is mortifying. But will it ever not be?
My uncle is a gardening fan, and one time I asked him when the best time was to split hostas. He replied, "When your spade is sharp". Meaning, whenever the hell it seems like the right time to you. Some people do it earlier than others, some in different ways, but there's no real rules about it, Whenever it seems like the best time to you, and you feel best equipped to deal with it.
To tell you one thing it will never not be hard atleast until you're there. Like you said you need to be ready emotionally and maybe physically if anyone near you is abusive. I've yet to come out and I'm waiting for my life to calm down. It might seen like a good idea to come out when stressed to relieve yourself of that but if that's so you should make sure more stress doesn't come out of it. If you weren't scared I'd be shocked so you're fine there just keep looking for the right moment. Hope it helped a little good luck
For me, it was when I knew I couldn't keep it bottled up anymore, and the people and world around me were accepting enough that I felt like I would get an accepting reaction.
The best time is as soon as you're accepting of yourself and know that you'll be safe. Trust me -- the longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes.
A few quick tips: 1. Don't come out when you friend/parent is already in a bad mood. If something bad happened to them that day, don't escalate it. Find time when they're watching TV or doing some light activity and don't have anything else planned. It could be a long talk. (I would add, don't come out while in the car going somewhere! You have no escape and your news potentially could cause the driver to become distracted and crash the car). 2. You should be sure and you should be ready. If you're not emotionally ready to answer questions and know in your heart you need to come out, it will be an even more difficult thing to do. 3. Have a safe place to go. If you're not financially dependent, make sure you can crash with a friend/family member if you get kicked out. Your safety should be of most importance. If there's a very strong chance you could be harmed/disowned by the person you're coming out to, and this could put you in harm's way, don't do it! 4. Practice. Say it in front of the mirror. Prepare what you're going to say. Practice answering questions. You don't need to read from a script, but having a few key points to guide you might be helpful. It helps when you come from the heart. 5. I know all of this sounds scary, but a lot of people (especially if you live in a western country) will be ready to support you. Coming out can be a beautiful thing and your mental health often improves drastically. The weight is off your shoulders. You can stop living a lie/half-truth. Usually people often ask questions of others "I wonder if ______ is gay/trans/whatever." As soon as people know, they stop caring and go about their day. For me, coming out has brought me closer with many friends and family members than I had been for years. My mom and I are the closest we've ever been, and we've always been close. Being able to be open with my friends and family means I can participate in conversations about relationships instead of covering it up. Coming out means finally being able to be yourself. Best of luck! If you do go through with it, keep us posted!
Depending on who you're talking to, what they're doing, and how confident you are in your sexuality, you will have that gut feeling when you know you should come out to said person.
When You truly feel it's time. Without pressure on yourself and when you feel you could handle any criticism that may come your way.
Coming out is always scary no matter who it is too I came out to my gay freind first and even though I knew hes be ok with it hes gag for crying out loud it still scared me. but I was ready. I think that's the main thing once you are ready and feel for yourself it is the right time and you will be safe of course. Coming out is a personal journey its yours and yours only you pick the best time for yourself if that's tomorrow next month or next year just be you.
There's never a perfect time to come out really, you just do it I would say; whenever you work up the courage or comfort to do it.
