Hi well im a 19 year old girl and i havent a clue how to tell anyone about my situation. For a long time iv been hiding my sexuality from family and friends im afraid that if i tell them how i feel theyll reject me. My best friends are two girls and although i only see them as friends im afraid theyll think im into them or something i just see them as friends . The worst part is hiding all this from my brother were really close and hes gay and has known since he was like 7. so at first i thought i could confide in him but after hearing a few things that hes come out with like "oh shes bi those people really anoy me you know from a young age who you like". i have had boyfriends but i just dont feel right when im with a guy. I dont think im bi i want to be with women but im afraid to come out or even try iv never been with a woman. I dont want to put myself out there and her to think oh shes just experimenting because i want to be with only women ... :bang:
Hey, Dallasire. Welcome to EC -- I think you'll find the support you're looking for here. You seem to be struggling with several things, so let's address each of them individually, all right? a) Coming out to your friends. Yes, it's scary. But these two girls are your best friends. Wouldn't you accept them without question, if the roles were reversed? Do you know how they feel about LGBT people? If you're unsure, you can try bringing it up in the conversation some time and seeing how they react. If you're in Ireland, maybe you heard something from them around the time same-sex marriage passed? If they're generally supportive of gay people and your friends, there's a very high chance they will accept you. My best friend is a girl, like yours, and she is fine with it. I shared a room this year with a girl who came to be aware of my orientation, and she was fine with it. If your friends act awkward, you may feel the need to stress that you're not harboring romantic feelings for either of them -- but I don't think that will be necessary. Trust your gut. Trust your friends. b) It's not too late, you're not too old. I'm your age and started coming out maybe 10 months ago. It's far from too late to come out, or even to figure out your orientation. Having dated guys in the past and not having experience with women doesn't mean you can't be gay. I think your brother would reconsider his words if he knew how they had affected you, especially since you two are close. I think, for you, he is a safe person to come out to. He knew from a young age, but not everyone's experience is the same, and many, many people don't come out until they're quite a bit older than you are. So don't think about your inexperience. Don't think that you "should have" known earlier. Just focus on what you're feeling, here and now, and what you truly want. c) About that inexperience. You don't necessarily need experience to know you're a lesbian. Really. If you "want to be with only women," then why not start putting yourself out there to do just that? Don't worry about what others will think. It's what you think and feel that counts.
