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Sort of coming/came out and terrified

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ScaredToBeBi, Aug 16, 2015.

  1. ScaredToBeBi

    Regular Member

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    Hi,

    I've read some forums here before, while I was preparing to come out to my parents as being bi. First time posting. (Hopefully this is the right area to post this)

    I have known I was bi since I was little and got a crush on my BFF in 5th grade- who was a girl. Since then I have slowly come to terms with being bi. Now I'm mostly comfortable with it, but I recently realized a problem. I am going to start going to an all girls school and was worried my sort of homophobic parents are going to think this has turned me bi! So I panicked, and blurted out to my mom that I am bi. :icon_sad: :tears:She kinda just froze. She said she still loved me... But I think she was starting to cry. When she asked how long I've known I said years. She then got even more upset. I then quickly said I was telling her now so she wouldn't think school turned me this way. I also had to explain that I most likely won't "grow out of it." After all of this, she just kind of went "..." and said she loved me, and left my room. What have I done?!?!

    I am scared she hates me! I know she won't kick me out, or withdraw school funding, but I'm terrified she is disappointed in me. She has a gay cousin and friend and has made disapproving remarks about them. I asked her not to tell my dad yet, and I would later. Same for my brother.

    I am such an idiot for not waiting till I was out of the house, which won't be for a few years... :bang: Help! I don't know what to do, sorry for bothering everyone.
     
  2. MsEmmzy

    Full Member

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    First of all, congrats on coming out! Even if it didn't go the smoothest, it takes courage to come out.

    So, yeah.. anyway, I know things might look pretty bad. From what you've said, it looks like she hasn't shown any explicit signs of negativity or lack of acceptance. The fact that she froze and had a few "..." moments could just be from the sudden shock. Chances are this was completely unexpected for her.

    I really doubt she hates you. You are her child, after all. She may be surprised, disappointed, or even angry at first. This is actually pretty normal.

    The advice I would give to you is give your mom some time. Try not to be weird or awkward about it, and try not to distance yourself too much despite what you might be feeling. Try to show her that you're still the same person regardless of who you find attractive.

    Don't be sorry! You're most certainly not being a bother. We're here to help! :slight_smile: (*hug*)
     
  3. alli o

    alli o Guest

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    it sounds like your mom does not "hate you" AT ALL she still loves you bc she is a great mom who loves her child! Give it time girl ik for sure mom will be fully supportive after a while she just has to change her set of mind a little it will take time but don't worry!
     
  4. ScaredToBeBi

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    Thanks for the advice! She was acting normal this morning, so I guess I overreacted a bit. I feel better now.
     
  5. MsEmmzy

    Full Member

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    That's good to hear. :slight_smile: