Hi, as u can see from my username, I am desperate. I've decided to be a member of this forum after I read some posts. Anyway, my story is: I am a biromantic homosexual teen from Turkey, as most of you know, a secularish Muslim country, and my parents are one of the "loose muslims" -like the ones believes and fasts but also drinks alcohol-.We've never really talked about homosexuality at home, and when we talk, we just have jokes and laugh. My friends are much compfortable on the topic, I have seen a few open gays in my school and they're okay with them, so I know they won't judge me by my sexual orientation. I can't say my parents are homophobic, because they're just not. I know they'll probably be shocked but accept me later on if i come out. However, I will always know they will feel bad inside and probably cry in a orner if I ever gotten married with a man. And I can't just stand the feeling of letting them down. My mom always says that she'll love me whatever I do. And it is just not my parents that I am talking about. My grandma is, of course, more conservative and I don't have any idea how she would react. Neither I don't have how my aunts, uncles and cousins will react to smth like that. I've thought of staying in closet and marrying a woman, since I want to have a child of my own. I really don't know what to do, this just scares me a lot.
I think marrying a woman just to make your family happy isn't a good idea. Coming out is never easy, especially if you're not sure about the reactions of your family. If you want to talk about your orienation and want to open up to someone, you should start with your friends. It seems that they will accept and support you. I think you should take it one step at a time concerning coming out to your family. You could try to taste the waters for example talking more about lgbt topics, like news and stuff. The most important thing is that you are happy. I think your family wants you to be happy and to enjoy your life. So stay true to yourself. Things like this take time.. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck!
I am not thinking to have a straight marriage just because my family wants to, i want ut because that seems nire normal and easier for me, marrying a woman and have children etc. but it won't be fair to the person i'll marry unless i tell it to her at the beginning. And about popping lgbt out, i now remember during a converstion my mom was shocked whe she heard a man cheated a woman with another man, and she once said those type of people are respected but never accepted in this country.
Of course, it's always easier to do things, knowing that people people will accept it. You're still young and you don't have to rush things. Maybe in a few years you'll think differently about this. Concerning your mom: People can change, and their opinions can change too. Maybe if you talk with her about it she'll change her mind. It's possible that she was shocked because the man cheated on his wife. I'm sorry, I cannot really give you any advice, but to wait until you're ready to talk with someone about it. Maybe your friends can help you to change your families mind and support you.
