I posted a few days ago that I'm considering to open up to my boyfriend. Well, last night I tried to come out to him. I really wanted to, but when I was about to say something I just stopped. I couldn't say it, I couldn't say anything. My head was empty. Today, I feel disappointed and sad. I'm scared to loose him but I no longer want to hide myself from him. I think writing a letter for him isn't the best idea. He would want me to say it out loud. So how could I find the courage to come out to him? Does anyone have some useful tips? :/
Hey, I read your post from a few days ago about wanting to tell your bf and I wanted to write, because I can relate in a way. I could say I'm in a similar situation, wanting to talk to my bf about this. Actually I already had the first talk with him, and it was similar to what you described. I managed somehow to tell him that I'm questioning wheather I'm gay, but even this was so difficult to actually say, much more difficult than I imagined. I also planned to tell him more, but I found myself unable to get more out. In the same time my mind was racing through stuff about my past female attractions, about how little I enjoyed sex with men, about the feeling that something has always been missing from our relationship on the romantic/sexual level. But I couldn't say any of these, I just stood there speechless. I think now that I actually wasn't ready then (this was around three weeks ago). Now, on the other hand I'm starting to feel that if I continue to keep things from him our friendship will suffer and I also feel like a horrible person because I'm keeping him in semi darkness. He is totally aware that things are not okay and he is suffering a lot. On the othet hand I have to think about what to tell him and especially how to tell him, not to make him suffer more. But in this moment I think telling him anything would be better than continuing like this. So I cannot really give you any advice, but I think it's important to do this when you feel ready, not necessarily to tell him everything in one sitting, but to start a discussion and not to kill the communication between the two of you as I am currently doing unfortunately... Also the letter might or might not work (I'd also go for direct talk in my case), but I think it might be helpful to first try to write things down, like what would you tell him. It might give you some indication about what you are ready to tell him and also would help to organise your thoughts before. I'm also planning to do something like that. I know this is not an easy place to be in, I wish you all the best, and I'm here if you'd ever want to talk (*hug*)
It feels really good knowing that I'm not the only one who's feeling this way. I can relate to the things you wrote. I know that he knows that something is wrong with me and it makes him sad. I have to talk to my bf because things get worse if I don't. He thinks that I want to break up and no matter what I say I can still feel that he's sad and maybe a little disappointed. Thank you for your advise and reply. I think writing down my thoughts is a good idea even if I want to talk to him directly. Maybe I'll be less nervous if I know exactly what I want to tell him. I wish you all the best too and that you find the courage to tell your boyfriend the truth and that he accepts and understands you. (*hug*)
