To the people who came out, how did you know you were ready? Or did you just say :***:-it and come out?
Well I haven't had the chance to come out to a lot of people yet, but when you start itching to tell people it's probably a good sign. (A year ago I was like 'Gosh I hope no one realizes I'm gay' and now I'm like 'Why doesn't anybody realize I'm gay?!')
When I came out to my dad, it was one of those "I'm going to be out to this person before this time." moments and I really needed to get it off my chest so I could move on with the rest my life.
I was bored of pretending to be straight and being dishonest to my family. i knew I wasn't going to get anywhere by pretending to be something that I'm not, so I waited until the first time I went out with a boy and went to a gay pub and realized this is how I'm supposed to be. My life didn't change too drastically afterwards, I still haven't had a long term relationship yet, but it was a relief for me to just make my family aware that I was not going to be bringing any girlfriends home, and they wouldn't have to suspect whether I was or wasn't.
My coming out for both my bisexuality and my "transgenderness" wasn't really a case of me being "ready" per se, it was more a case of me not wanting to lie anymore and wanting to just get the process done and over with so me and my folks could move on and figure out what to do next.
Honestly, I told a "friend" who ended up broadcasting it in the high school hallways, so I was just like "Screw it, I don't even care." And that was that. I was fifteen and just had enough of the whispers so I figured, no one's gonna talk about it if they realize I know it better than they do.
love this. wish I even knew to question this back then! didn't question this until I was 19/20. Its funny OP. Literally I think Im coming to that point of being ready VERY SOON. Over the last couple days Ive started to think about telling people and watched a few coming out advice videos on youtube. For me, i think most people suspected something over the last few years. I think people wondered why "such a nice and good looking chap" couldnt find a girlfriend (thanks again grandad ). The feeling I feel right now is just that I am very close to accepting my myself and when I have I think it will naturally just spill over to everyone else. I want to start talking to guys and stuff now and Im just gonna do it and people will catch on. Im lucky to not be living with morons. Everyone i know see's sexuality as just a non-issue. I have personal issues with this POV, but overall its made it easy for me because all my troubles come from within myself and not from anyone else.
When it became harder to keep it inside than to let it out, and when I felt confident that the people and world around me were going to be accepting
Once I could say "I'm gay" out loud to myself, that may seem insignificant to most people, but that was my biggest hurdle. And once I was comfortable within myself being gay and looking forward to my future, don't get me wrong, I still had to force myself to come out. Also weirdly the thought that if I or anyone I cared about died (say in a car crash or something like that) and didn't know this huge piece of me. I think it comes from the fact that my biggest regret of my life was that I didn't tell my dad I way gay before he died.
When I felt more comfortable thinking about just getting it off my chest than pretending. I am open to anyone asking about my sexuality and for the most part I'm out, but I'm feeling like that again about my gender. Like, it seems scarier pretending to be a boy than to just start transitioning as soon as possible and I've found myself dropping little hints over time about who I am. That's what started tipping me off to the idea that it may be better to start coming out instead of hiding it.
I knew it was time to come out when the anxiety of holding it in had become too unbearable as it was slowly eating away at my soul.
Initially my mom found out by accident, but other than that, I just didn't want to have to hold onto it and have no help. It felt like a ball of energy that only hurt me more the longer it stayed, so I told everyone after I'd been 100% confident that I had it figured out.
I'm confident in being not straight! I had to discuss with my girlfriend first though. There were rumors that we were dating, so if I came out it would make the rumor more believable. After she said it was okay, I started coming out. I wouldn't to my parents until I was legally not told to listen to them