I am gay (female) and I desperately want to come out to my best friend. The problem is that she has strong views on same sex marriage. She wouldn't hate me, I know that, but she would definitely treat me different which is what I don't want. She wouldn't want to do normal friend things like hug or sleep over because she'd assume I'd have a thing for her (which I dont) I will eventually come out to her but I have so many things that I want to do with her this year (examples are our school formal, seeing Ed Sheeran in concert and going to World Youth Day next year) I love her so much and I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I also don't want to waste my time being friends with her and loving her if she's just going to ditch me when I tell her. Any suggestions on what to do?
Just tell her. Tell her in a letter or message if you'd rather, but I'd let her know. Tell her you can't help it, it's just who you are (which is perfect! ) and let her know that it doesn't mean you see her as any more than a friend. Maybe even tell her she's like a sister to her, and you'd never be able to feel that way about somebody you're so close with! Honestly, if she doesn't want to be friends over it, she's not the kind of person you need to keep in your life. But, it's up to you and you can choose to tell whoever you want whenever you want
If she's really your friend she won't just leave you like that. If you really, really want to tell her then do it. If it ends well she might even stop looking at lgbt people like that.
I told my best friend, but mine was more "I am probably never going to fall in love and if I do get romantic feelings I will not like them because just no". Surprising open for a very devout Catholic. (Half of my extended family is Catholic but usually take a unhappy neutral stance) Do what me and everyone I know in real life does when considering coming out: 'test the waters'. Say that you support same-sex marriage. Talk about this thing you heard of called "(romantic orientation, gay pride, aromantic, demisexual, ect.)". Judge reations. Some people are just against same-sex marriage and are, somehow, okay with all the other parts of being gay. If you do tell your friend, make sure that the fact that you are not attracted to her is explicitly said. Also, that you are not automatically attracted to every girl you meet. That is just a huge issue, for some weird reason.
If somebody is truly your friend, then they will not cut things off. Cutting you off would have an effect on her as well. She may be a bit more distant for a bit, but that would probably be because she would need time to process. Sometimes, it takes somebody close to a person coming out as being LGBT for them to really think about their stance on the issue. I used to be against LGBT people, until one of my friends came out as gay, another as bisexual, and a third one as transgender in the span of a week. This made me have to think really hard about why I held the beliefs that I held, and if they were worth continuing to hold.
If she is truly your friend then she will support you if not then she isn't really your friend and you don't need someone like that in your life
