Hello I am new here! I am mad about my sexuality im mad and i wish i was just straight, would be easier to explain..even being gay would be easier to explain to but i'm not gay or straight. I cant deny that I have feelings and enjoy sex with a male and cannot deny that I am attracted to girls and want to have sex with them too. this is sort of tearing me apart and i also feel guilty to about it because its like ""Oh hey why am i liking girls?"and then its like "Hey you got a boyfriend!" and i fee guilty to him because i look at a girl and would think shes attractive. I never hide it to him though, my boyfriend knows and he has been very supportive. HE even wants me to explore that sexual attraction I have for girls so that's great! But.i feel like i'm a horrible person to him for fantasying that...like i feel like i'm not supposed to like both but i do. i feel like crying right now and it sucks because most people knew about their sexuality ever since they were little but i didn't. People usually go "Oh i always knew and always liked men when I was age ect ect!" but my situation sort of just became stronger and shit as i got older and i never actually knew until like a year i accepted it and was like yah i do like both. If you asked me like YEARRRS later FOR SURE i would of said and thought only guys. The thing is its been making me sad hide it too. I want to come out and I almost made a Facebook post coming out as Bi but my boyfriend said not to and to only do it in person. He said if I do it on Facebook it might look like I am doing it for attention or self validation. I find it would be a lot easier if i just did it on facebook instead of one by one. One by one seems kind of hard and just doing it on facebook seems more of a riping the band-aide off type of thing. Though now if I want to do it I am scared because my boyfriend asked ``Why do u feel the need to tell everyone, what's it their business? So I kind of feel a bit down. what do I do, should i tell one by one? Should I make it a big deal and post on facebook? Should I just stay in the closet until I am ok with myself? I need some advice
It's a tricky situation. My advice would be for you to choose who you want to come out to. (Everyone, just friends, just family, everyone except yout parents, etc) The next step would be to choose who to tell specifically. For example, your best friends, your brothers. Tell the people you've chosen separately to everyone else. (people close to you tend to prefer being told first.) After that, you can tell the rest of your friends/family/chosen group of people as a group. (I came out to my other friends in a group chat) The idea is to tell your 'important people' first, because that's the scary part over. This is just what I did, and only a suggestion, you should do what you feel comfortable with. I hope that however you choose to come out, all goes well an you are accepted for the awesome person you are.
You could do a little of both. You could tell people you're close to first like family and good friends and then to make it easier just come out to everyone else on facebook. You could also write letters to your family and friends so you can get your thoughts together and explain it to them clearly since they might not understand bisexuality. That way you know they won't cut you off or anything. Also you are not the only person to figure your sexuality out later in life. Some figure it out early and that's lucky for them, but you're certainly not alone. Just look at some of the Sexual Orientation posts on here. There are a lot of people who have a hard time figuring it out. Some don't figure out their orientation until they're married and have kids and then they feel trapped. Even though it's a hard thing to deal with and you may not be comfortable with it yet, at least you've accepted to yourself that you're bi. That's a huge first step and takes a lot of bravery so good for you! I encourage you to keep coming on this site and talking to people because that's helped me so much and now I'm more okay with not being straight. Also, one example of a person who figured out they were bi later in life is Shane Dawson. He's a youtuber and you could look up his coming out video if you want. He talks about how he was really confused about it and went through some hard times and it took a while for him to accept. I think people will be more accepting than you think. They may not understand bisexuality at first if they haven't known others who are bi before but once they get used to the idea, anyone who's accepting will surely be completely okay with it. I wish you the best of luck and I hope my response helped.(*hug*)
Instead of on Facebook, perhaps just let people know through an email or text. Type one up that you can copy and paste to each person. If you post it on Facebook, make sure you have told the individuals you are closest to beforehand, either in person or by email. I did something similar- I decided upon my closest friends and family. Some, I told in person, others by phone, text, or private message. After that, I just updated my relationship status on Facebook, so that pretty much told acquaintances for me without having to reach out to them. So that way, I didn't really care what happened after my closest friends and family were told.
Actually I watched his videos a lot and the day he came put was describing exacley how I felt on point. I was relieved to because I am not the only one who did not know and in other interviews he does sometimes avoids the word Bi since he just wants to figure himself out. His video actually made me cry and inspire me. I am very conflicted though some days I think this is all in my head. ...but I do fantasize about girls too! Can'y deny I like girls too anymore :/
