My last relationship ended pretty terribly. I'd try to give a synopsis of it, but even that would take up too much of not only your time, but mine as well. Basically, he was an extreme case of the 'clingy' partner who was emotionally co-dependent on me. I never really got too attached to him, because he was so attached to me. Fast forward to my current relationship, which has lasted about a month so far. Since we became friends in mid-November, we've been text messaging each other pretty much non-stop. If we're not sleeping, we're texting. It's been fine up until now. The conversation obviously goes stale quite a bit, and so it stops for a couple hours, and then he (not me) texts to ask what I'm doing. Yesterday, out of nowhere, he tells me he thinks I keep my ex, as previously mentioned, around as a 'security blanket'. And he starts acting weird and giving me short replies. And it basically spiraled downward from there, with him eventually just telling me he would talk to me tomorrow (today). Things have been better today, not good, but better. His replies have still been short for the most part and there's a lot of tension. But as we texted today, he told me his mom was pissing him off. So, out of curiosity and giving him the opportunity to vent, I asked him what she was doing to make him mad. He said it wasn't important. I told him I wanted to listen and he got upset. A few hours later, he said his mom was pissing him off again. And once more, I asked what she was doing. This time, he made a comment something along the lines of, "God, you don't have to know every time I sneeze." And as the conversation progressed, he finally opened up to me about what was really bothering him. Apparently I've been "questiony" and clingy as of late. I thought about it, and to an extent, he's right. I've been asking a lot of questions recently, requesting many details about what he's doing at the current time. The thing is, I'm not doing it because I feel like I need to know. I'm doing it because he keeps telling me he's bored (he's out of town right now) and continues to tell me he wants to talk to me, so to keep him occupied and to keep the conversation going, I ask pretty much any question I can think of pertaining to his current situation. I'm not sure if I'm being clingy. I haven't seen him in about a week due to him being out of town, but it's not eating at my insides or anything. We're hopefully going to get to spend some time together this weekend when he gets back, and that keeps me at ease. In the meantime, I'm hanging out with friends, seeing movies, playing video games, and of course, texting him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. This turned out to be a bit longer than I expected; sorry about that.
I'm really not seeing the part where you're being clingy. I see you simply trying to keep the conversation rolling and/or trying to be supportive. It's not your fault that he does that thing where he brings up something and then refuses to say anything about it. I have a friend like that, and it drives me batty. I think you should talk to him about it tell him what you told us, as Gumtree suggested. Maybe you'll both decide to cut back on the texting a bit to avoid these problems. My suggestion for your future texting conversations, if you still have them, would be to maybe tell him what you're doing and talk more about yourself instead of asking what he's doing, since that seems to bother him so much (though I don't understand why it would if he's the one who's all "I'm so bored! Talk to me! Stop asking me questions!"
If he thinks you are clingy then don't text him unless he texts you first and ask him what He wants to talk about. And if hes just bored and says anything then tell him about your day instead of inquiring about what he did? that's all i can think of. Good luck with it.
Thanks for your input everyone. Things seem to have improved significantly today. And you know what, I'm not clingy. He half-expected me to drop my plans for tonight that I've had for days to go spend the night at his house since he's home early from being out of town. If I was clingy, I would've instantly canceled my plans. But I didn't do that. I told him I can try to include him in the plans I already have, but I'm not canceling them for him. I feel good about myself.
