Hey EC community! So some things have happened since I logged on last and I wanted to re-ask the same damn question I'm sure a lot of people in the closet ask. At least this time I have some progress. So previously, around February, I kissed an out guy at a party I was at. No big deal there. Hahah. So eventually we were talking and he was being really cool and whatnot. We eventually ended up at another party together months later (I wanna say it was July) and he was like openly flirting with me (not knowing I wasn't out, so it's very forgivable) so I was a tad bit withdrawn. One of our mutuals pointed out that he was flirting and asked what was up with it and I kinda was like :eusa_liar "duh idk". So eventually the party died down and most of the people left. The guy passed out earlier, so I was pretty much alone so I started walking to my car. On the walk something in my stupid wormy brain made me turn around and go back. I kind of felt guilty and I thought maybe I should try to talk to him. So essentially when I got there it was just me and him minus our friend who had been asleep in his room across the house for a couple hours now. So I told this guy we should go for a walk, because when I got there he was up using the bathroom. So we got outside and he almost immediately popped the question if I was gay. He sounded really nervous asking it and like I know he was probably hesitant to ask in the first place. So I broke and told him. Like I explained most of the situation about me being gay or queer or whatever term you want to use. I explained how I'm mainly in the closet still because I can't bring myself to tell my parents because they're, like most parents, homophobic Roman catholics. So we got back and we cuddled a bit and kissed and parted ways in the morning. So I'm out to one person. And it's a romantic interest of sorts. What should be my plan of action? I thought by coming out to someone, the anxiety would partially alleviate but now it feels worse. I'm scared to come out to more friends because I'm afraid this feeling will get worse and I'm still at a standstill of telling my family. I need some really good advice.:tears:
This might sound stupid but... If you get closer to that guy and start a serious relationship you could, like, one day go to your parents with him and tell them everything. It could be easier with someone supporting you. Then do the same with the rest of the world. 0/10(!!)
See I thought about that. It would make my life easier, but in retrospect my family would probably just blame him for the whole thing, which I most certainly do not want. Apparently he's not even out to his parents which scares me. Is not being able to come out to one's parents really the hardest part in coming out? :eusa_doh:
I'd say coming out to your parents is one of the hardest parts, yes. They've known you your whole life, and the thought of them suddenly having to change the way they see you can be pretty intimidating, even if one is sure their reactions will be positive. Maybe start off with a close friend or two, someone you trust? That way, you'll have someone to talk to about it, and if/when you decide to come out to your parents, they'll be able to support you if things get rough.
Okay, I guess that's the best way to approach it. I just really don't know how I'm gonna bring myself to do it without blindsiding them with it. My family is very secretive and we don't talk about any personal issues. I guess I'll just go about it really slow and if I need help, I'll use EC if nobody else can help.
Hey, honestly I may not be the right person to give advice but from what I have read here, I would wait to come out to your parents...Are you financially reliant on them? Do you live with them? Your profile says you are 25? As for your friends - where do they stand on gay rights stuff? Did they change their FB pics after the Supreme Court ruling? Do they make homophobic comments? If they are cool, it may be easier to come out to your friends first. And as for your parents, I would wait. It sounds like you are still pretty emotional about this and unsure of yourself, and my guess is that homophobic republican parents would use that to try to push you back into the closet. Good luck, you can do this. You will get through it!! xx
I'm only reliant on them for 4 more months but I can definitely get by in the rare chance they kick me out. Here's the thing though: with my parents I'm not sure what they'll do. They're very unpredictable so it could go either way, but no matter what it's gonna be extreme. I'm gonna talk to my doctor next week about "emotional problems" and see if I can get a bit of therapy and see where that goes. As for my friend from the party, I'm supposed to see him Saturday and hopefully we get a good talk in. We'll see what happens...
Well he never hit me up to hang out today, so I guess it's a little bit more of silent suffering until I talk to my doctor/find a therapist. Nothing's ever easy, is it?
