Ok so this weekend is my birthday and I plan on having a few drinks with just my best friend. We both spend to much time around computers and I plan on sitting outside by the bonfire with him. If the opportunity arises I plan to tell him I'm Bi, of course we'll be drinking. By the time I'm ready to tell him I might already be tipsy or even a bit drunk and I want to know what everyone's opinions and experiences are on this topic. I know that there is a chance that he might not even remember or take me seriously because of the alcohol. I feel like it's a little easier to talk to people when they have become a little drunk/tipsy, also I find it easier to express myself mainly because i always over think my words and quite often don't say anything at all. So, would you consume alcohol to try and help yourself come out to a friend and what is your opinion and or experience on this?
Well, like you said yourself, the person you come out to might be too drunk to remember and/or take it seriously, and they might even react differently because of the alcohol. If you HAVE to do it under the influence, I would suggest doing it after only a few drinks. Y'know, when you're at that stage where you feel confident, but are still (somewhat) coherent. Good luck. ^_^
I wouldn't exactly recommend coming out while drunk. That said, if you're sure (while sober) you want to come out and all you need is a bit of courage... well, alcohol does loosen your inhibitions, that's for sure. He will probably remember, unless you're getting very drunk. Personally, I couldn't bring myself to vote "No" on your poll because I have come out a few times while drinking. I've come out after just one beer, which hardly counts, but I've also come out when I was well past tipsy and heading into drunkenness. And I don't regret it, but only because these were also people I could have told while sober. Why aren't you ready to tell him sober? Are you afraid of his reaction? I'm not saying you shouldn't be apprehensive; fear is a normal part of coming out. But figuring out why exactly you want to involve alcohol may help. There's nothing wrong with a drink or two giving you enough confidence to tell him. But do you want to come out to your best friend while completely drunk? That's the question that really matters.
I've Come Out while sober and while I've been drinking, at the end of the day drinking or not I've never regretted telling someone I'm Gay.
I voted yes. I wouldn't come out being entirely drunk but a few drinks always help me to find enough courage to talk about those stuff.
I say get yourself and them a little tipsy. Tipsy enough that you don't overthink your words but not too drunk that you become a rambling fit of giggliness. That way they'll probably take the news better too. Just make sure they remember everything afterwards.
For me personally, I've never drunk to the point where I lose control of myself in any way but even then, I would never contemplate coming out when drunk. When I came out for the first time, I wanted to be completely in control and focussed so I'd have to say no. Perhaps for some people coming out while drunk seems logical because it helps to relax you and whatnot but I kind of worry that regardless of if the coming out is successful or not, you'll unconsciously link having the courage to do something with drinking and that'll set you up on a very rocky path later down the road. I also worry because alcohol tends to lower people's inhibitions and usual docile people can become pretty violent if something triggers them.
Thanks for the replies guys. (*hug*) I wasn't expecting so many people to vote yes. Thanks for the reply Yes I am afraid of his reaction, but I'm reasonably sure he'll be ok with it. I probably would tell him while sober, but I've had very few chances because we are always around family and or other friends. This weekend I'm not entirely sure I'll even get the chance, if I do, I want to utilize it and I think I'm more likely to do that if I've had a few drinks. It's also not just me that doesn't talk much, he doesn't either and I was hoping that a few drinks might make him talk a little more and be a little more accepting. Anyway I'll post it here, what ever happens. I predict my parents will want to sit outside with us and I would get the chance :rolle:. ---------- Post added 26th Aug 2015 at 02:19 PM ---------- Yea I understand that. I'm a little worried that he might not take me seriously, although as long as the message gets through and he understands I'm serious, that's all I want. I remember hearing about that somewhere once before. I guess that is a bit of a worry, then again, I only have to come out to him once As for the violent part, that is pretty hard to avoid, but he is my best friend and I'd never hurt him intentionally and vice versa.
I actually don't drink so I wouldn't consider it. As far as you telling him if that's the way you feel most comfortable then that's your decision I hope everything goes well
If you think there's a possibility that one of you won't remember it, then you may want to consider waiting. I don't see anything wrong with coming out on a drink or two--liquid courage and whatnot--as long as you know that he's going to be okay with it. Personally, I voted no. Not because I never would but because I don't have anyone in my life right now that I would feel comfortable coming out to while drinking. Neither of my best friends drink. With my family, I have to be capable of leaving immediately if things take a turn for the worst.
Totally wouldn't recommend it! My best friend came out to me when she was drunk and she completely regrets it... Often as well, my friends tell me they know I'm gay when they're drunk (i'm not technically out) and when they wake up they don't remember it.. Clear and coherent is the best way to do it! You can do it sober, you don't need that liquid confidence!
I've come out more drinking/drunk than solber. I'm a believer in going with whatever works. Just be prepared that it's up to you to bring it up again. I've made the mistake of just thinking it was done. It can be awkward the next time you see each other as they aren't sure if you only came out because you were drunk and don't want to talk about it. If you do tell him while your drunk, I'd recommend bring it up casually the next day. Even if it's just a text to say your happy you could chat about it last night. That way they know your fine with talking about it, even when your solber. Plus it confirms that they remember.
