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I feel like a waste of life...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Alexander, Dec 31, 2008.

  1. Alexander

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    Not to say that I'm feeling at all suicidal or anything. I just feel like there isn't any point in me trying to succeed right now. All I want to do is play music, but the only way I can succeed at that is to get accepted at a good college or conservatory - which means getting good high-school grades first. Paradoxically, I don't feel like doing any schoolwork, because I physically NEED to practice. When I'm playing music is the only time I feel happy.

    I still haven't come out to anyone except my closest friends. Not even people I trust with bigger secrets than my homosexuality. There's nothing I want more than to be out - but I don't think I can stand my situation getting worse before it gets better.

    As far as I can tell, this is an "I" issue that needs to become a "me" issue, i.e. I should talk to someone professional about it. Not a problem, except my parents don't believe that psychology helps people... So I'm not sure how to broach the issue with them. Plus we're tight on money right now because of my insanely expensive private school. (Did I mention that I have to find a job to pay for part of it? Not stressful at all...)

    So here are my issues:

    • School
    • Procrastination
    • Sexuality
    Any ideas?
     
  2. Matty

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    I've felt similar to you for some time. I am an Acting Major. I didn't get into the school I hoped for, and have given my current one a chance... It's not working out, and I want to transfer, but right now I feel trapped from being completely happy because environments I am in are not allowing me to grow properly. So much of what we wish to do in life relies on whether or not people wish to accept us into their circles or institutions.

    That's why I take the time to learn as much as I can from the situation I am in and stuck in until my energies can move me forward. You may feel stuck right now to, but people get out of those situations by working as hard as they can within their element, with their eyes set toward moving on.

    Academics can feel stifling...but you'll get through it, and if things happen that discourage you (I've certainly been!)....try to think of it a different way (It's something I've been thinking about lately, and it makes me feel a little better)...

    Being disappointed is one thing, being discouraged is something else.
    --Tennessee Williams

    And about coming out and talking to a professional...is there a Guidance Counselor you can trust at your school? Even if he/she isn't your assigned Counselor, you can certainly still speak with them.
     
  3. summersforecast

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    school - you can study in any spare time you have. as for motivetion well I use good old fasion competition(as in w/ school mates siblings etc. falure is a good motivater)

    Procrastination - you really have to just nip this one in the bud and get off your butt and do things that you know will be good for you studing looking for a job and just anything but make time for your music and fun too!

    Sexuality - I know it might not sound abviously this is not the right time in your life to address this issue but don't sweat it.

    Psychology - Even if your parents don't believe is does any good you have to make them listen after all it's your life not theirs.

    hope some of that helped